While undoubtedly one of the single greatest pleasures of human existence, sex is also one of the most bizarre and sometimes even disgusting rituals we take part in. I mean, because it can be "gross" we don't talk about sex openly and honestly (and think of it as a "normal" greeting, like saying "hello"). Nope, sex involves bodies, nudity, closeness, fluids, and often penetration, so when we’re attracted to someone and consensually (and safely) engaging with someone, it doesn't take long to realize that the things that seem gross during sex, are simply natural. It’s our attraction to our partners (or our comfort with bodily functions) that allows us to halt reality for awhile and come to the conclusion that sex isn't really "gross" at all. For the most part.
Sometimes the suspension of disbelief regarding sex’s “yucky” nature is long-term, like when you’re in a relationship for a while. Sometimes sex positivity kicks in, and while it can be hard to kick the social stigma of a very natural act, you realize that what our bodies do isn't inherently disgusting, even if you ended up frowning and saying "ew" a lot in health class.
However, it's worth highlighting the undeniable fact that sometimes you might already begin to feel a bit grossed out by the act. Yes, you can know, deep down, that all those perceived “gross” factors are really just a perfectly natural part of sex. In order to have a healthy sexual life, it’s important to recognize that although sex can be a bit messy in some areas and at specific times, it’s also pretty amazing and totally normal and natural when it's done safely and consensually. It's just, well, human beings can be disgusting, and sex is a great reminder that we're kind of gross creatures, you guys.
Unless you’re having sex in the middle of a blizzard, chances are you’re going to sweat and your partner is going to sweat and those droplets are going to make both your bodies real shiny and slippery. While you wouldn’t want to hug a basketball player right after a game (too much sweat), holding on tight to your partner while they're all sweaty is actually pretty hot.
Lots Of Saliva
Saliva gets tossed around a lot during sex. Kissing gets it started, usually, and of course you can always use saliva to lube yourself up or lube up your partner. So, you know, now you have spit all over the damn place and while it can be kind of weird to stop and think about, it's pretty normal (and it usually pays off).
Things Can Get Sticky
Vaginas can (and usually do) get plenty lubricated. If you’re having sex with a male partner or partners, there’s also precum and semen to contend with. These fluids often end up leaking onto mattresses, getting sprayed onto pillows or onto another human, getting wiped off from our mouths or on to our towels. Sex is so, so messy, but that’s perfectly OK and part of the fun, right?
Things Can Get Smelly
Smells happen. Unless you both just got out of the shower (and, honestly, that probably won't make that big of a difference) your genitals probably have an aroma. It’s not a bad thing. Many people love the smells of sex, so long as they aren’t too overpowering (in which case a bath or a doctor’s visit might be in order).
Giving Or Getting Oral
There are many of us out there who feel that oral sex is an even more intimate experience than genital penetrative sex. Having someone’s face all up in your business can feel like serious business. It's understandable that with the "wrong person," you might think it’s completely gross and out of the question. However, with the "right person?" Someone who makes you feel comfortable? Hallelujah.
The Unpleasantries Of Latex
While condoms are awesome (and usually very necessary), they do come with some drawbacks. This is mainly in the smell and flavor arena for me, personally. However, even though certain areas might end up smelling like a rubber mat after condom sex, you’ll also be endlessly pleased at avoiding STDs and unwanted pregnancies.
Fun Sounds Coming From Your Vagina
You know that sound that’s kind of like a fart, except it comes from your vagina? They call that “queefing” and it’s happened to everyone who’s ever had something inserted into their vagina. Air gets stuck in there and when you push something (penis, hand, toy, whatever) in, the air tries to escape. Sometimes someone will smirk, but no one really cares. Let's be adults, people.
Fun Sounds Coming From Your Belly
Sometimes your stomach growls because you’re hungry. Other times, it growls because your belly is feeling upset. Especially during oral sex, you’re bound to hear the inner workings of your lover’s gastrointestinal system. Just make sure to tell them to warn you (or warn them about) if, um, something else is about to happen.
The Accidental Passing Of Gas
Try as you may, if you have sex enough times someone will end up hearing a real and true fart. Just like we tell our kids: farting is normal. Farting is OK. Our bodies do things for a reason, you guys, so as long as you can get past the bathroom humor we've been forced to endure as a culture, your sex session won't be ruined. Promise.
Seeing Razor Burn Up, Stubble, Or Ingrown Hairs Up Close
No one likes talking about bikini line ingrown hairs or crotch razor burn, but if you’re the type to shave or wax, it happens. Those models on the magazines whose skin looks flawless? Yeah, that's photoshopped. While it might sound like an unpleasant sight, especially during sex, you really just won’t give a damn.
A Little, Or A Lot, Of Blood
Obviously blood can be a bit alarming, especially if you’re with someone for the first time (and I’m not talking about a broken hymen, here). Bleeding can happen due to a lack of lubrication or simply getting a bit too rough. It can also happen because someone is on their period. Oftentimes, a person won’t even know they’re about to menstruate and then boom, there it is. Other times, having sex when they're on their period doesn't both them.
Either way, just keep some old towels nearby so as not to stain your sheets and you’ll be right as rain. Of course, take proper precautions if this happens with a less than trusted lover and/or there's a great amount of pain involved.
Getting Your Partner’s Body Hair In Your Mouth Or On Your Body
Seeing a random pubic hair on your bar of soap or toilet seat can be somewhat unsettling, but if it’s your partner’s hair that fell on you during the deed, it’s really not such a big deal. After all, you’ve seen the hair before it fell off their body, right? You can always spit it out or swat it off anyway. It's just hair.
Body Acne Revealed
Going back to the whole “models are usually photoshopped” point from earlier, most people get a stray body pimple or two or more once in awhile. Sure, we don’t like to admit it. We don’t have to talk about every little intimate thing about our bodies. But it’s not something to be grossed out by during sex, because it’s a normal occurrence.
The Need For Lube
Dry sex is no fun, but having a less-than-slippery vagina is nothing to be ashamed of and certainly nothing to be grossed out by. There are lots of reasons why someone isn’t getting "wet," from hormonal changes to needing more foreplay. Just bust out the bottle of lube and get to work. Lube is a wonderful thing.
Orgasm Faces And Grunts
People sure do make some interesting noises and faces during sex. Yeah, I'll say it, some of them are just downright gross looking. However, if we all pointed a mirror at ourselves or really took a listen at how we sound, we’d be just as guilty of being “gross.” Who cares if we look silly during sex? It’s still the best thing ever.