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The Best Way To Soothe Your Crying Baby, Based On Their Zodiac Sign

by Steph Montgomery

Parenting a newborn is not for the faint of heart. They, unfortunately, don't come with instruction manuals, and just when you think you know what you're doing, their likes and dislikes change. The only way babies communicate is by crying, and every baby seems to require different strategies for calming, soothing, and quieting their cries, and it takes some time to figure them out. It would be so nice if something could give you a head start. Like, is it possible to tell how to soothe your crying baby, based on their Zodiac sign? Personally, I'm pretty much willing to try anything because I can't stand to hear my baby cry.

To be honest, I've never really been into astrology. It can't possibly be accurate, right? But when I looked up my kids' signs to see if I could gain some insight about their personalities, their horoscopes seemed pretty spot on. My Gemini daughter constantly changed her mind about what she wanted as a baby (and still can't make up her mind as an 8-year-old). My Scorpio son is calm was can be, and my Aquarius baby? Well, let's just say my mom life with him is never boring.

So, while I don't think astrology is accurate all (or even most) of the time, and each baby is likely to need different things, it might come in handy to have some star-based tricks up your sleeve.

Capricorn (December 22 — January 19)

I'm so sorry. If your baby is a Capricorn, it's possible that nothing you do will work to soothe your savage baby. According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, people with this sign are unforgiving and dislike "almost everything at some point." The good news is that Capricorns are independent and great at learning new things. So, if you want to calm your baby, you might just want to give sleep training a try or leave them alone to figure out how to calm down on their own.

Aquarius (January 20 — February 18)

My youngest was born under the sign of Aquarius. Apparently, that means he is friendly and smart, and he hates being bored (both are actually true). This makes a lot of sense, because life with him is definitely not boring. So, it feels like every day it takes something different to calm him, which makes life frustrating at times. Just when I think I know what I'm doing, I'm made to feel clueless. Ugh.

Pisces (February 19 — March 20)

Pisces love music, so if you are expecting a baby under this sign, it might be time to learn some lullabies, or make a few playlists to soothe him when he cries.

Aries (March 21 — April 19)

According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, Aries are passionate, enthusiastic, determined folks with a tendency to be impatient and aggressive. Your Aries baby's cried will be determined, incessant, and oh so loud. Until, that is, you move your ass and pick her up. If you are lucky, you will get a short break in between tending to their needs.

Taurus (April 20 — May 20)

Your Taurus baby is patient, but stubborn. Once you figure it out, the same routine will work to soothe them every time. They are also likely to be sensual and love soft fabrics and physical comfort. So, if you are having a Taurus baby, better stock up on muslin blankets and cozy pajamas.

Gemini (May 21 — June 20)

My daughter is a textbook Gemini — curious and affectionate, but also indecisive and anxious. According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, Geminis are twins in that they have dual personalities. I can attest to the fact, because you absolutely never know what you are going to get with a Gemini. Seriously. Sometimes the best approach was a softly sung Bob Marley song, and sometimes I had to drive around the block for hours to quiet her cries.

Cancer (June 21 — July 22)

As a Cancer myself, I am sorry to report that we are more than a little bit crabby. Crying definitely comes easy and often for seemingly no reason at all. We are also super lovely and snuggly, though, so it's best to administer liberal snuggles to your crying Cancer.

Leo (July 23 — August 22)

A Leo, like an Aries, is a fire sign, so they hate being ignored — a fact that will become perfectly clear when they are mad, tired, or hungry. According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, they are passionate and loving, but also have a tendency to be self-centered. They will cry until all of your attention is on them. So, if you have an Aries baby, you might want to invest in a baby monitor. You wouldn't want to keep your Aries baby waiting.

Virgo (August 23 — September 22)

Virgos are known for being shy and to loathe asking for help. So, they may not cry much, and when they do, you might not hear them. They are reputed to be organized and practical, so it might be good to try rocking, patting, and shhhing to calm them.

Libra (September 23 — October 22)

According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, Libras are both indecisive and absolutely hate being alone. Your best approach will probably change with each feeding, bedtime, and diaper change, but as long as you stay within view, you will likely do just fine.

Scorpio (October 23 — November 21)

My oldest son is a Scorpio — passionate, determined, and calm. He hardly ever cried as a baby, and when he did, he was so particular about what he liked. He loves to touch my bare arm, almost as if comforting me calms him, which is sweet, but my god, could he please stop touching me? Seriously. It's been almost five years, and he still demands that I wear a tank top when I put him to bed, just so he can stroke my arm.

Sagittarius (November 22 — December 21)

According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, Sagittarius-born people have a tendency to be an impatient bunch. They also love the great outdoors. So, when your tike is temperamental, why not try taking them for a stroller ride outside? At best, it will dry their tears, and even if it doesn't work, you'll get some fresh air and exercise.

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