In the beginning of a relationship, it's pretty impossible to keep your hands off of your SO. There's days of staying in bed, touching each other, and you never make it through an entire Netflix sesh. But once life settles back in around your relationship and things like children, work, and sleepless nights infiltrate, it can be hard to get in the mood for sex.
But that's the beautiful thing about your sex drive. It's still there. You haven't lost it completely. It's just hard to want a romp in the bedroom when you're covered in spit-up, had a sh*tty day at work, and can’t muster up the strength to cook dinner. But trust me — just because you aren't in the mood doesn't mean you can't get there. There are plenty of times where you know you want sex, but you can't be bothered. Your partner is looking incredibly sexy, but you're exhausted. Or you want that closeness the two of you share after sex, but you still have common core math homework to get through. These kinds of things can quickly kill your lady wood. But getting in the mood for sex doesn't mean you have to spend hours prepping yourself or set aside even more time to get yourself feeling some type of way before you do the deed. You're busy and need the one thing that can get you in the mood for sex, and you need it to be something you can work on without taking up your entire day or become a chore.
That's why you need to masturbate. But not to completion.
And you know what? It doesn't even have to be a physical masturbation. Think about it, what kills your mood for sex? Unsexy things, right? Housework, bills that need paying, irritating coworkers, bad moods — all contribute to your lack of a sex drive. You've got to put yourself in the mindset for sex, but you don't have time to sit down with porn or read any erotic fiction on the train ride home. You need to masturbate, and you can do it with your mind.
If you're hoping to get it on with your partner at the end of the day, start your work in the morning. Play out sexual fantasies in your head on your commute to work. As the day goes on, keep the thoughts up, maybe even share a few with your SO, and you'll find yourself ready to jump your partner as soon as you see them.
When life gets in the way, as it tends to do, don't get discouraged. Before you and your partner head to the bedroom, you may find yourself dreading getting it on or feeling totally out of it. Spend a few minutes alone in the bedroom touching yourself. Masturbate in a way that fully turns you on without making yourself cum. If you're into it, have your SO watch to really get you in the mood. With all of that pent-up arousal and no release, you're sure to be ready to get it on with your partner, no matter what stands in your way.
Unless the baby wakes up. Then you may just need to mute the monitor and do your thing.