Even though midwives used to be the person to attend a birth, the word "midwife" has become a loaded term in the United States. Sometimes considered antiquated, other times considered an eccentric fad of GOOP readers, there a lot of things people assume when you use a midwife instead of a doctor. Things that, let's face it, have no actual basis in reality.
I delivered my first son with the assistance of an OB-GYN. I didn't really plan on using a midwife, or set out to use one, when I became pregnant with my second, but after some research I decided I was open to one if that happened to be the provider I liked the most. The thing that was most important to me was finding someone who would support my choice to attempt a vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC), for which my first OB-GYN had already declared I was a good candidate.
This actually wasn't terribly easy, because contrary to the recommendations of the American College Of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, many OB-GYNs dismiss the possibility out of hand. If I felt like an OB-GYN wasn't going to legitimately and wholeheartedly help me go for my VBAC, I wasn't going to be seen by them. I was also living in New Jersey which, circa 2014 and when I was pregnant, was the state with the highest C-section rate in the entire country. So there weren't a ton of VBAC friendly providers. In fact, my midwife was the first I found.
So while I was thrilled beyond measure to have found someone who was going to assist me in having the birth I wanted (and could safely have), I also had to navigate the often outlandish assumptions people made when they heard I was using a midwife. Like, for example, the following: