What Your Kid Will Probably Be Judged For, Based On Their Zodiac Sign

If there's one thing I've learned in my almost 40 years of life, it's that people will judge you no matter what. As a mom I, of course, want to protect my kids from other people's judgement, but I've learned that's pretty impossible. Instead, I've decided to lean in and find out if there's a way to predict what your kid will most likely be judged for, before it actually happens. I mean, if I know in advance, maybe I can at least prepare my children. Maybe I can teach them to ignore the haters and be their own person, no matter what.

Since I don't have a crystal ball, I consulted Astrology Zodiac Signs to see if the stars had anything to say about the things people will probably judge my children for. And since I don't generally follow astrology, no one was more surprised than me to learn that my kids' signs were pretty spot on. My daughter is a Gemini, which apparently means that she talks constantly. She does talk all the time, you guys, and people judge her for it on a pretty regular basis. My middle child is a Scorpio through and through, so he's always cracking jokes. That's fine, of course, minus the moments when he lets other people laugh at his expense. And my youngest? People are already calling him a "mama's boy," which is not only gross but wildly unfair, considering he has such bad separation anxiety. According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, that's actually typical for Aquarian children.

I figure that it's part of our job, as parents, to teach our kids how to deal with the bullies and the judgmental people of the world. That's why I don't think it hurts to take a look at the starts to see if they can help us prepare to the best of our ability. With that in mind, here's why the Zodiac thinks the haters are gonna hate.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, people born under the Capricorn sign are responsible and disciplined. In other words, they have the tendency to be total control freaks, and pretty much always think they are right. So, yeah, your Capricorn kid is likely to correct people and remind people of the rules. Not the worst thing to be judged for, to be sure, but annoying nonetheless.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

My youngest was born under the sign of Aquarius. Apparently, that means he is friendly, but that he also hates being bored and loathes being lonely. All of these are totally true. Although he's only 1-year-old, people have already started judging him for being firmly attached to my leg, or crying when I walk out of the room. People are mean, you guys.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, Pisces are both intuitive and introverted. They actually enjoy being alone, but they can also have a tendency to be sullen. So yeah, if your child is a Pisces they are likely to be told they should smile more.


Aries (March 21 - April 19)

According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, Aries are passionate, enthusiastic, determined folks with a tendency to be impatient and aggressive. Since so many people seem to think kids should be "seen and not heard" — in my experience, especially older people at the grocery store — you and your kid will likely to hear about it their outgoing demeanor.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, Tauruses are stubborn and have a tendency to not weather change well at all. So yeah, your Taurus kid will be judged for that tantrum they threw in the check out line because you wouldn't buy them a donut.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

My daughter is a textbook Gemini — curious, affectionate, and chatty. According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, Geminis are verbal communicators. It's true, she literally never stops talking, not even in her sleep. And while I have totally grown accustomed to her chatter over the years, other people don't exactly appreciate her talkative nature. She gets judged at school, at the library, and in the movie theater because she has a lot to say.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

As a Cancer myself, I can tell you that we cry. A lot. We cry when we are sad, happy, frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, or for seemingly no reason at all. While it is totally OK to cry — and you should definitely tell your kid that — Cancers are judged all the time for being "cry babies." In fact, that makes me pretty sad, to be honest.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

A Leo is a fire sign, so they hate being ignored — a fact that will become perfectly clear when they are mad, tired, or hungry. According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, they are passionate and loving, but also have a tendency to be self-centered, which I think is definitely the thing people are likely to judge them for. The good news, though? They totally won't care what other people think. They are proud little lions, after all.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Virgos are known to be the shiest, most quiet sign of the Zodiac. So, yeah, your little introvert might end up being judged for not speaking up or for being the shy kid who sits in the library reading at lunch.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, Libras are indecisive. As a result, people are going to judge the heck out of your kid for standing at the top of the slide for an hour making a pro/con list about whether or not to actually go down.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

My oldest son is a Scorpio, which means he's fun-loving, friendly, and always telling jokes and letting others laugh at his expensive. The trouble comes, though, when people are not laughing with him, but at him. Kids are mean, you guys.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

According to Astrology Zodiac Signs, Sagittarius-born people have a tendency to be an impatient bunch. This means they hate waiting in lines and might have a tendency to get frustrated or even try to cut in line so they can move the whole waiting process along, something they are definitely going to be judged for.

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