I love my pets. My dog and cats are my favorite furry creatures. I've always had a pet, and yet, for some reason, I never thought to have any of their star charts drawn up, in spite of the fact that it is no less or more plausible for a dog to be affected by the positions of the planets in relation to the sun than it is that humans would be. Maybe I'd finally get an explanation for why my dog literally bites the hand that feeds it. Decoding my dog's personality traits based on his zodiac sign might provide much needed insight as I reach for the band-aids and threaten to call the pound. (I'd never do it. I love that little jerk.)
Apparently, animal astrology is an entire cottage industry. Between almanacs that evaluate your doggo's star charts to pet psychics who do tarot and astrology readings for your Dalmatian, your canine companions have all kinds of ways to learn their future. Does your retriever not retrieve? Does your English pointer not point? The answers to these questions and more might be in the stars. And in case you were wondering, figuring out a dog's zodiac sign is as easy as determining a human's sign... it's all about the birthday.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
An Aries dog's best and worst qualities are closely linked, according to the Doggington Post. They're natural leaders, so they're great at rounding up the other pets in the house, providing stability to your family, and making the most of a routine. However, they cannot abide having their routine messed with. They're the ones who will pee on your sofa if you have the audacity to bring home a new baby or puppy. That'll show you.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Taureans are stubborn by nature. But they're also big old lovebugs, according to the Old Farmer's Almanac. They're going to be slow to learn new things or to change habits, but because they're so grounded and loving, you won't mind as much. No, Taurean pets are never likely to be the ones to know all the best tricks, but they will know exactly the best place to lay to warm your lap and your heart.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
The dual Gemini nature is definitely on full-display when it comes to your canines. As per Dogs Naturally Magazine, "Dogs with their sun signs in Gemini are both passive and aggressive, positive and negative, outgoing and reserved." Honestly, I see this more with my Gemini cat, Kilgore Trout, who will try to polish my shins one moment, acting like the most loving creature you've ever met, to biting the ever loving crap out of my hand the minute my hand strays from his fuzzy belly.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Cancers are emotionally intuitive, according to Horoscope.com. They rely on their instincts, and that means first impressions are everything. While this can be particularly helpful when your dog tries to protect your child from danger, it's less helpful if they bite Grandma because her perfume stinks. However, once they know you, they're loyal as heck.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Leos are the most loyal of the zodiac, but they also love the sound of their own voice. They're the dogs who will stick to you like glue, even when you're outside... but howl like hounds of hell are chasing them when you go away for even a minute. They just want you back, can't you see that? Also, they think they're ready for X Factor, obviously. Dogs Naturally Magazine wrote that "Leos love the outdoors and everything that comes with it. They also enjoy barking. It doesn’t matter if a Leo dog is with you or at the dog park, he or she loves to be the center of attention. A huge positive of having a dog with their sign in Leo is that they are the most loyal dogs in the zodiac."
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Virgos are perfectionists, and according to PetHelpful, that means they are not likely to be the ones to roll in the mud or jump in the lake. It also means that they like it when they have something useful to do. You may see this in the form of being easily trainable, yet very cautious. Sure, they're not going to go trail running with you, and they scoff at baths, but they love a good game of fetch.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Your Libra pup may be really co-dependent, according to Tarot.com. They're the dogs who need to be adopted with another, otherwise, mischief will abound. However, that trait also makes them some of the friendliest pets around.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Yes, this is about dogs, but I'm going to use the example here of my favorite horse: Iago's Silver Bullet, who was born on November 11. He was raised on a ranch in the country, and was the preferred riding partner of one of my best friends. He was also 100 percent Scorpio, according to Horoscope.com. When you first met him, he would whinny a little bit and hang in the back of his stall. But once he got to know and trust you, you'd never meet a more enthusiastic or forgiving horse. You could put him through the paces all day, and he'd still nuzzle you that evening. Even if he did get you a bit frothy. So, swap out "whinny" for "growl" and "stall" for "dog house," and you get the idea.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Sagittarius dogs are always excited to try new things, and they love to perform their tricks once they learn, but they're notoriously hard to train, according to PetHelpful. "Always eager to learn new tricks to entertain their humans and will do them without being commanded just to get attention," the site said of Sag pups. Unfortunately, this might mean they constantly want to "shake," and they'll need a lot of activity to stay interested. They do best in large families with lots of people and pets to be their audience.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Capricorn pets are smart, often much more intelligent than even their owners perceive, according to Find Your Fate. That means that they'll potty train quickly, and even learn to not steal food or beg from the table. However, they also love their routine, so if you try to move a sleeping Capricorn dog, be prepared to deal with the fallout.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Aquarians are the rule breakers of the zodiac, as per Dogs Naturally Magazine. That means you never know what's going on with them. They magazine revealed that "Aquarians are unpredictable and can go from zero to sixty in about two seconds. These dogs are also difficult at times in that they like to do what they want to do when they want to do it." However, they're absurdly affectionate.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Pisces make great therapy dogs because they're so intuitive and sensitive. In fact, they're known for their sixth sense. "Sympathetic, compassionate, understanding, and gentle," according to the Old Farmer's Almanac, they "are sensitive to their environment and should be trained with a light touch. They also feel more secure if they have their own 'spot' (pillow, bed, perch, or rug)." They could become out of sorts quickly in new environments, so don't expect them to be the best behaved pooch at the kennel.