How Teachers Really Feel About Parents Emailing Them *Before* The First Day Of School

There is nothing like back-to-school anxiety... for parents. I mean, I’m sure kids are nervous, too, but parents know way more about what’s to come, and we can really let our brains spiral when we want to. The problem with all of this anxiety is that as much as we encourage our kids to talk about theirs and ask for help and reach out to people around them, it feels a little scary to let our own anxiety flags out into the wind for everyone to see — especially your kid’s new teacher. You want to be the chill, calm, collected parent, but what if you’re anxious about your kid using the bathroom at school or unsure how the pick-up line works or want more information on school supplies? Should you email your kid’s teacher before the first day of school? Or is that going a little too far?

I didn’t talk to your teachers, but I know what they’d want me to tell you: just take a deep breath. Whether this is your first kid in school or your first year in a new school, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and anxious about all that’s to come. And they understand that. Many teachers are parents themselves, and they know exactly what you’re worried about. Even the brand new teachers know that it’s a lot to send your kid off to school every day and relinquish some control over their day, and they want your kid — and you — to have the best year possible.

So, emailing them before the first day of school? It’s not a completely inappropriate action. But there are some things to consider.

Why do you want to email your kid’s teacher?

This might be the most important question: Why do you want to email your kid’s teacher before the first day of school? Anna Hall, an elementary school teacher in North Carolina, tells Romper that she has no problem with parent communication — she encourages it — but before the first day of school is a chaotic time, and she really wants parents to consider what it is they want to talk to her about. “In general, you should’ve already met with your child’s teacher before the first day of school at an open house or even just a chat on the phone when you get their teacher assignments. So if you still need to follow up with an email, it’s worth thinking about how important this question is. Teachers get a lot of emails, and honestly, some of the things you might be anxious about and want to email the teacher for are things that are going to be solved in the first 10 minutes of the school day,” she says.

If you didn’t get a chance to attend an open house or "meet the teacher" event and just want to introduce yourself, Hall says this is a great reason to email your kid’s teacher before the first day of school. “Just a simple email saying, ‘Hi, sorry we missed the open house, our kid is so excited,’ or something similar is totally fine. You should get a response from your child’s teacher before school.”

If you have a question about the supply list, some kind of school policy or procedure, or transportation, she recommends going through all of the emails and paperwork you’ve already received from the school. “Schools are incredibly thorough — we want you to have all the information you need — so chances are the answer to your question is already available to you.”

Give your teacher a chance.

If your email is centered around something specific about your child, like your fears or worries about them in the classroom or a concern you have, Hall says it’s best to bring those up at the open house or meet-the-teacher event. “If you couldn’t chat then, dropping an email is fine, but please really think about how important it is. If the email is more focused on you sharing all of your kid’s likes and dislikes or the best ways they respond in a classroom, please just give teachers a chance. We work with kids every day. This is our literal job; let us have a chance to show you how we teach before you email us with what you need us to do.”

Hannah Turner, a high school chemistry teacher in Michigan, agrees and tells Romper that she’s had high school parents email her before the first day of school, insisting that their child is going to struggle in class and will need lots of extra credit. “I always respond with something like, ‘Thank you for this email, but please give your child and our class a chance to see how we do first!’ I’m a parent, too, so I understand wanting your kid to succeed and jumping for any chance they get, but trust your kids’ teachers.”

However, Turner says that if you have a deep concern or worry about something specific, such as a medication for your child or a food allergy, she's not going to be bothered by a reminder email. “But keep it light and easy. Please don’t assume your child’s teacher was planning on giving them a peanut butter sandwich the first day of school even though they have a nut allergy. We all have systems in our schools and classrooms for information like that, and I promise we do everything we can to keep your kids safe and healthy and happy in our classroom. Please trust us.”

Ultimately, how well-received an email to the teacher will be before the start of school depends on the teacher, the topic, and your approach. “I get emails from parents before the first day of school all the time, and most of them are a simple introduction, telling me how nice it was to meet me at Open House, and sharing that their kid is super excited. Those are lovely and have a really festive mood for back-to-school. And even better is a parent who emails me to say they’d love to help out in any way they can, or asking if they can drop off extra snacks or something for the classroom,” Hall says. “We love parent involvement, and we encourage open communication — just don’t come at us like we’re idiots who weren’t going to be able to figure out that your kindergartner is struggling to read.”

Emailing your kid’s teacher before school? Not a bad idea.

Emailing your kid’s teacher before school because you’re just sure they’re going to mess something up? Step away from the inbox.