Picture-perfect pregnancies are celebrated everywhere. Beautiful bellies and gorgeously glowing skin are on full display for all to see and admire. When it comes to the true reality of someone’s journey towards parenthood, though, those issues (like unsuccessfully trying to conceive or a having a miscarriage) are often not spoken of. And it’s a shame, too, since talking about these topics helps reduce the stigma associated with them. So if you have a friend who has been struggling to have a baby, these 40 infertility quotes just might offer some solace … and inspiration.
But the more that infertility is a topic that isn’t discussed, the worse things become for the women (and their partners as well) try to come to terms with their battle to have a baby. “The reason it's so important to say something to a friend is because we have gone way too long with people NOT talking openly about infertility,” Ali Prato, co-founder of Fertility Rally, an online membership community, event platform, and content hub for anyone struggling to build their modern family, tells Romper. “It's a medical condition; it's nothing to be ashamed of.” In short, infertility is not your fault — it’s no one’s fault —and shouldn’t be treated as such. That’s why the more we openly talk about infertility, it offers support to those who might be silently struggling, and it helps people to gain perspective on stigmas that just aren’t true.
That’s why you should reach out to your friend who is struggling with infertility and let them know you’re there. Because what’s possibly worse than infertility is when no one acknowledges what you’re going through. “We as women need to lift each other up, not shame each other or make anyone going through infertility feel less than,” says Prato. “And the more we talk about this, the more future generations of women will know about fertility and infertility in general.”
As conversations surrounding infertility and TTC are becoming more commonplace, here’s how you can show a friend that you really care.
- “I’m here for you whenever you’d like to talk.”
- “What do you need?”
- “How can I help you during this time?”
- “It sucks. I know. It just sucks.”
- “I’m sorry you’re going through this.”
- “I know you have an important appointment coming up. Let me know if you need me to go with you.”
- “I know today is a hard day for you. I’m thinking of you.”
- “I can only imagine how challenging this must be for you.”
- “I’m here to listen.”
- “I know that you’re in pain and that this sucks so badly.”
- “I love you.”
- “I’m dropping off breakfast/lunch/dinner. You don’t need to talk to me, but I’ll be here if you do. When is a good time to drop by?”
- “I care so much about you.”
- “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it, but it’s okay if you do.
- I’m here no matter day or night.”
- “I want to be supportive but I’m also afraid of saying the wrong thing. What would be helpful to hear now?”
- “What do you need me to say to you?”
- “I’m here if you just need to cry and be angry.”
- “I went through infertility, too. If you’d ever like to hear my experience, I’d be happy to tell you.”
- “Infertility can be isolating, but you’re not alone.”
- “I went to therapy after my own infertility struggle. I can share my story whenever you’d like to hear it.”
- “I read a really good book. Would you like me to send it over to you?”
- “Would you be open to me sending any resources or accounts that I think might help?
- “I’m here if you need to vent/scream/cry, or even if you just want me to silently sit by your side.”
- “Would it be helpful to send along some success stories after struggle, or connect you with someone who had success?”
- “I know that being poked and prodded isn’t fun. How about we go to a spa and get a massage?” I want to take you on a friend date to get your mind off what you’re going through. I want to treat you to a day at the spa, where you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.
- “This isn’t your fault.”
- “You’re going to get through this.”
- “I can’t understand what you’re going through, but I’m here to listen.”
- “I know infertility can feel like it’s consuming you. I wish I could hold your hand through the process.”
- “I know you and your partner are going through so much.”
- “Sending you so much love right now.”
- “I know it feels so unfair, and it is.”
- “I’m not sure what to say, but I’m sorry you’re going through this.”
- “You can do this.”
- “I don’t want you to think that because I haven’t gone though it that I’m not interested in it.”
- “I’d love to talk to you about anything that you’d like to talk about, whether it’s infertility or anything else.”
- “I’m sorry you’re going through this.
- “I want you to feel what you need to feel.”
- “I know today is an important day for you. I’m checking in on you.”
It can be hard to find the words sometimes when someone you love is struggling with infertility. So speak from the heart, and know that by simply acknowledging what your loved one is going through, you’re opening the door not just for conversation and comfort, but ultimately helping to change how the world views the stigma surrounding infertility, too.