LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - AUGUST 25: Kristen Bell attends the Photocall for STX's "Queenpins" at Fou...
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Kristen Bell's Daughters Came Up With A Hilariously Brutal Nickname For Her Boobs

And according to her husband Dax Shepard, it surely “wasn’t flattering.”

If any parent is looking to get a little extra dose of confidence, they probably shouldn’t approach their kids. Just ask Kristen Bell, whose daughters gave her boobs a particularly brutal and weirdly hilarious nickname that also somehow manages to be horribly descriptive.

Bell sat down for an interview on a recent episode of her husband Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert podcast, and naturally the conversation turned to their two daughters, 9-year-old Lincoln and 7-year-old Delta. In particular, the way the two girls basically roast both of their parents on a regular basis.

“It’s like you and I have agreed to be on one of these makeover shows,” Shepard said to Bell when describing their kids, “and every morning when we walk out of our bedrooms, the judges will evaluate how good of a makeover it was.” Bell noted that their decision was “never good” and went on to share how they react to her if she’s not wearing a shirt.

“God forbid I’m not wearing a top, because they will run from across the house and, because they are still right below my breast plate, and they’ll take their hands and just jiggle them up and down.”

As if that isn’t bad enough, Bell says “they had a name for them at one point,” and while neither parent could remember, Shepard knew for sure that it “wasn’t flattering.” But don’t worry, Shepard’s co-host Monica Padman asked the couple’s daughter Delta for the episode’s fact check section if she remembered the name and of course she did. Delta and her sister Lincoln called their mother’s breasts... “Sloppy Joes.”

Sloppy Joes, the mushy sandwiches, should really never be compared to breasts or any other body part in my opinion. Or in Shepard’s opinion, who said, “Now you know what cruelty they are capable of” when reminded of the nickname, although he did point out “that’s what you’re supposed to do when you’re a kid, you’re supposed to ridicule your parents.”

Bell has decided to put a positive spin on her daughters’ insults, saying the frequent insults they hurl at her keep her grounded. “The amount of insults that they can hurl at me in a very short period of time, it really brings me back down to earth,” Bell told E! News in 2021, adding that the insults start coming fast and furious as soon as she gets home. “I come home and they will just, they’ll pull the rug out from under you so quickly.”

They’re also really honing their comedy skills. Because calling boobs Sloppy Joes might be kind of genius.