I have a message for the Plastics from all moms. We don’t even want to sit at your table, OK? We are all wearing sweatpants on Wednesdays. We’re starting our own cooler table on the other side of the cafeteria. And you know why? Because of that crack in the trailer for the Mean Girls movie musical. You know what you did. You advertised your new movie as “not your mother’s Mean Girls,” and we all feel, shall we say, personally victimized.
The first trailer for the new Mean Girls movie musical dropped on Wednesday, and for the most part everyone was pretty excited to see it. After all, we’re all still talking about and quoting the 2004 original movie starring Lindsay Lohan as Cady Heron, the new girl in school trying to get in good with the Plastics, Regina George (Rachel McAdams), Gretchen Wieners (Lacey Chabert), and Karen Smith (Amanda Seyfried). I guess all of that attention went to the Plastics’ heads, because they got real sassy with the trailer for the new movie, telling us, the moms who made them famous, that this movie is “not your mother’s Mean Girls.”
Somehow, despite our decrepitude and advanced years, we are all mustering all of our energy to say absolutely not. We are united in our outrage, pulling out our reading glasses, clutching our pearls, tightening our cardigans close around our shoulders, and standing up for ourselves. Which, at our age, is no small feat.
And to call us old right to our faces? Rude.
Listen, it’s been just a wee 20 years since the first one came out, so there are plenty of us who have kids too young to even watch the movie. So there.
Some of us aren’t even moms of humans yet, just our sweet dogs.
Also, let’s not forget the original intent of Mean Girls: to stop trashing other women. Even moms who might be older.
As offended as we are, it’s starting to hit some people that the math, technically, does sort of add up.
Here’s the thing about the “not your mother’s Mean Girls” nonsense. The original Plastics are moms now. Every single one of them. And we still love them and think they’re relevant. They even have their own Walmart ads that are, I am happy to report, absolute delights. Because these moms want to watch those moms. Because we still matter. And if you’re going to have this attitude, you can’t sit at our table!