Christmas
The cornier, the better.
When you think about it, Christmas is a crazy concept. After all, there are flying reindeer (with one whose nose lights up bright red, no less), the improbable suspension of time (really, how does Santa hit everyone’s house in one night?), and the fact that perfectly sane people will allow a roly poly fella to literally break into their houses in order to leave gifts that enchanting elves have somehow manufactured to look surprisingly like the ones on store shelves. So it’s easy to see that, secularly speaking, Christmas is quite comical. And that’s why you might want to break out these Christmas jokes that are sure to give your kids the giggles.
Christmas is an exciting time of year no matter what type of tinsel tickles your fancy. Chalk it up to those lovely lights, magical music, a beautifully decorated tree (and the lure of lots of presents under it), and you’re already starting off at an advantage. That’s why telling your child a Christmas joke with a punchline about “Rude-olph” or “Fleece Navidad” is just icing on those sugar cookies you’re planning to leave out for Santa. There’s laughter, there’s bonding — all the good stuff that the holidays are supposed to be about. And then your child can then share those Christmas jokes with their friends, and soon, they’ll be sleighing second grade.
Get ready to fa la la la laugh, because these Christmas jokes are so silly, they’ll make Santa’s jiggly belly (and if we’re honest here, ours too) shake from laughter.
1
Not All Elves Are Innocent
What do you call a greedy elf?
Elfish.
2
Only If They’re Slathered In Sprinkles
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut open this present until Christmas!
3
Watch Out For “Yellow” Rain
What is the weather report for Christmas Eve?
There’s a 100% chance of reindeer!
4
Traffic Cops Work Even On Christmas Eve
Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve?
He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.
5
Even Christmas Trees Want Minty Fresh Breath, Too
What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?
Orna-mints!
6
But His Shiny Nose Sort Of Makes Up For It
What do you call an annoying reindeer?
Rude-olph.
7
Just Don’t Bring Him Into The Sunshine
Why does everyone love Frosty the Snowman?
He’s cool.
8
Because, You Know, Their Nose Is A Carrot...
What did one snowman say to the other?
Do you smell carrots?
9
And They Probably Smell Like Cinnamon And Sugar
What does the gingerbread man put on his bed?
Cookie sheets.
10
All Wrapped Up In A Bow
How do you know when Santa’s around?
You can always sense his presents.
11
Y Un Prospero Año Nuevo
How does a sheep say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!
12
It’s Kind Of Punny When You Think About It
What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
13
Because Santa Breaks For Small Children
What do you call Santa when he stops his sleigh?
Santa Pause.
14
They Also Like Wearing Scarves, Too
What do you call a reindeer who wears earmuffs?
Anything you want! He can’t hear you.
15
It’s Made By Elves, Not (Ahem) From Elves
What do Santa’s helpers like to eat at the North Pole?
Elf-abet soup!
16
Is That Even Possible?
What’s red, white, and blue at Christmas?
A sad candy cane.
17
Most Likely Frosted, Too
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes.
18
And December 24th Is Always Circled
How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He refers to his calen-deer.
19
There’s Always Gotta Be A Grinch
What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A humbug.
20
Their Blood Runs Cold
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite!
Christmas jokes are just another way to spend some quality time with your kiddos. You can even have your child write out a joke that they can leave next to the cookies, so that Santa can have a laugh while he’s eating his cookies.
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