When you are trying to conceive (TTC), it's not unusual to feel some pretty intense emotions. It's exciting and fun, but it can also be nerve-wracking and scary, and sometimes all of those things simultaneously. So many parts of TTC are completely out of your control, and as much as you try to prepare and plan, there's bound to be more than a few surprises. I thought I was ready to get pregnant, but there were so many intense things I wasn't ready for when I started TTC.
For me, the hardest part was not knowing what would happen and when. I was totally not prepared for feeling like I was completely out of control. I quickly discovered that the phrase "family planning" is not accurate at all. You can't really "plan" your pregnancy, not entirely anyway, because so many things are uncertain. Sure, I stopped taking birth control, started tracking my cycle, and we started having unprotected sex, but I had no idea if or when I'd get pregnant or if I even could get pregnant.
Then there was the waiting, like waiting to have sex (according to the optimal schedule I had found on the internet), waiting to see if I would get my period, waiting to take a pregnancy test, waiting to see the results, and waiting to take another test the next day. In the end, though, the waiting was nothing compared to the joy I felt when I saw a second line appear on a pregnancy test. Until then, there were so many moments I just couldn't prepare for, no matter how hard I tried.