The first trimester of pregnancy
really sucks. The morning sickness and the hormones and the exhaustion is hard on pregnant people and, in all fairness, it can be hard on their partners, too. However, there are things every grown-ass man does when his pregnant partner is in her 1st trimester, which can make it a bit easier for everyone involved.
It's hard to grow a tiny human in your body; physically, emotionally, and sometimes even logistically. The first trimester is basically
hell on earth, full of physical changes up to and including; sore breasts, nausea, vomiting, feeling exhausted, constantly needing to pee, shortness of breath, and even cramping and bleeding that can cause you nothing if not severe anxiety. The entire first trimester process can leave you feeling like you have an alien living in your body, which you sort of do.
To make matters worse, from the moment that second line appears on a pregnancy test, emotions are heightened, too (thanks, hormones). You might feel excited, happy, sad, angry, worried, relieved, nauseated, ambivalent, dread, or any combination of emotions; sometimes all at the same time and sometimes changing in an instant. Of course, you also
have to manage your pregnancy while also working, keeping your home clean, taking care of any other children you may have, and actually staying upright.
Like many challenging experiences, having a great partner can make a huge difference. When that partner is empathic, supportive, caring, and relaxed, it can make the first trimester of pregnancy less stressful and traumatic (and even allow you to have a little fun before your bump outgrows your boobs). Grown-ass men understand that the first trimester of pregnancy is challenging, but temporary, which is great practice for the challenges and constant changes of being a grown-ass dad.
He Validates His Partner's Emotions, Even If They Change Frequently
Not everyone is happy about being pregnant, and even when someone is, that happiness can turn to tears 10 seconds into a peanut butter commercial. To say that
pregnancy hormones are intense is an understatement. Grown-ass men understand that emotions are high and logic may be at an all-time low. They put aside their own emotions and sometimes bruised egos to support their partners. They ask questions and try to understand where their partner is at on the emotional roller coaster of pregnancy. They call the nurse line at some ungodly hour to ask about spotting and hold their partner's hand during the sonogram.
They know they can't understand how their partner feels, but try to be there to support them in moving forward and managing stress, regardless.
He Believes His Partner When She Says She's Suffering From Morning Sickness (And Other Pregnancy Symptoms) Morning sickness can sometimes (read: usually always) be an all-day sickness. It can be the worst thing a person has ever experienced, or it might not be that bad at all.
Grown-ass men listen to their partners' pregnancy complaints and believe them when they say, "I can't do that today," or, "This makes me want to puke." They do what they can to be a shoulder to cry on (but hopefully not puke on), and they help their partner get medical help if things become too much to manage at home.
He Understands When His Partner Fall Asleep On The Couch, In The Car, At The Table, Or Pretty Much Everywhere
I remember how my now ex-husband used to mock me for falling asleep on the couch early in the afternoon or evening, during the first trimester. I literally couldn't help it. I had
no energy and what energy I had was spent throwing up and trying to stay awake in meetings at work. I couldn't function, and I fell asleep constantly.
I was pregnant during the 2008 election and couldn't even stay awake long enough to hear the results (something I had excitedly done since 1992). Grown-ass men understand that a parasite is
literally sucking the life out of their partners. They cover their sleeping partners with blankets or gently help them to bed when they *yawn* just can't *yawn* stay awake. He Cares For His Partner And Their Kids, While She Pukes Or Sleeps
Adulting is hard
when you are in your first trimester of pregnancy. Nausea, exhaustion, vomiting, and the other aches and pains of growing humans all make existing as a productive adult seem or actually be more difficult than normal.
Whether it's chasing around your other children, preparing meals, driving you to the ER, or getting that last load of laundry done before bed, grown-ass men pick up the slack during their partner's first trimester of pregnancy.
He Pulls Over So His Partner Can Puke
This is pretty self explanatory. If your pregnant partner says they are going to hurl, pull the car over. It's the grown-ass thing to do.
He Keeps His Mouth Shut About His Partner's Body
Grown-ass men understand that the only time it's appropriate to
comment about their pregnant partner's body in the first trimester is when they say, "Check out my breasts, they've never been this big before." They keep in mind that the only appropriate response is smiling and nodding in agreement. They understand that their partner might feel weird, bad, angry, or confused about their changing body. Or they might be super excited. Regardless, grown-ass men know when to keep their mouths shut. He Buys All Of Of His Partner's Favorite Pregnancy Foods.
Pregnancy can seriously change your palette. I had
intense pregnancy cravings, once eating two dozen clementines in one sitting. I also had foods I couldn't eat without throwing up, namely raw veggies, which really sucks because I am a salad-loving vegetarian.
Then, of course, there's the safe foods that soothed my stomach. During this particular pregnancy I'm currently experiencing, they are Sour Patch kids and the Handi-snacks with bread sticks and fake cheese (don't judge me). Grown-ass men
learn not to cook triggering foods and load their partners up on safe and beloved foods. (And, they never, ever eat the last donut.) He Doesn't Get Drunk In Front Of His Partner
There's nothing like being stressed out, tired, emotional and not being able to unwind with a micro-brew or glass of Malbec. It really,
On one hand, it's probably a good thing to not develop aversions to these beloved beverages, but please don't tell your pregnant partner that. Grown-ass men don't enjoy cocktails or beers in front of their pregnant partner unless they are given the green light and get a bottle of her favorite wine to crack open after delivery.
He Understands That Pregnancy Hormones Are Real And Doesn't Make Jokes About Them
Pregnancy hormones are
real. I am not suggesting that they should be blamed for every transgression, but grown-ass men understand that it's not just their partner's body that's changing. She might want to jump him one minute and curl up in a crying ball the next.
Grown-ass men try not to take these emotional explosions personally and try to do what they can to help their partner cope. They understand that a little empathy (and a midnight trip to the store for M&Ms) can go a long way.
He Let's His Partner Initiate Sex, If They Want To
During the first trimester of pregnancy, you might want
tons of sex or not want to be touched at all. Grown-ass men understand and respect consent, and they also get that their partner may not be able to have or feel up to having sex or may want a lot of sex, but need different positions, timing, foreplay, and/or stimulation to enjoy it.
Grown-ass men let their partners initiate sex and have open discussions with their partners about what's going on in their changing bodies, how they feel, and if they are interested. They learn to enjoy the adventure of learning to please a pregnant partner and also understand when she's just too sick or tired to want some.