10 Things All Grown-Ass Men Do When Their Partner Is Pregnant
Our society has long-since put the majority of the responsibilities associated with procreation and pregnancy, on women. Some of that is understandable, of course: women can actually get pregnant (although there are transgender men who've had babies, too) and making sure you're eating right, staying healthy and taking care of yourself is, inevitably, the pregnant person's ultimate responsibility.
That doesn't mean pregnancy is a solo-woman's game, though, and any grown-ass man is well aware that when it comes to pregnancy, they have a job to do, too. They're gong to be an active participant in the baby growing and baby birthing because (I'm assuming) they were an active participant in the baby making. Further more, they'll realize that while every pregnant woman is astounding and the ability to birth another human being is nothing short of extraordinary, a pregnant woman needs support. She shouldn't have to go through the long, sometimes painful, often uncomfortable and downright overwhelming experience of bringing another human being into the world, alone. If you're part of a partnership, you should act accordingly; at all times but especially during pregnancy.
Which is why a grown-ass man will do these 10 things when their partner is pregnant. Gender stereotypes and, honestly, even science, should never keep one partner from helping the other.
They Go To Doctor/Midwife/All Appointments
A grown-ass man is going to make the time to accompany his partner to doctor's appointments, midwife appointments, and any other appointment that she doesn't feel comfortable going to alone. Honestly, the information being gathered and shared at these appointments is vital to both parents, so dad should be just as present as mom, even if he isn't the one who has to pee in a cup or endure that cold, weird jelly they put on your stomach.
They Learn About The Changes Their Partner Is Experiencing
A grown-ass man is going to educate himself about the changes brought on via pregnancy, even and especially because he's not experiencing them himself. He'll read the baby books and google potential complications (be careful though, that can be scary) and will pay attention when the doctors/doulas/midwives are explaining what to expect as the pregnancy progresses. Being as informed as possible will help his partner stay calm, help deal with anything unexpected, and will ensure that he remains calm, too.
They Give Their Partner Space To Complain
Sometimes, a pregnant woman simply has to bitch about how horrible it is to be pregnant. I mean, don't get me wrong; pregnancy can be wonderful and beautiful and magical and whatever, but pregnancy can also be the absolute worst, and not every woman loves being pregnant. However, because of social pressures that attempt to police how women feel about procreation (or when they procreate or why they should want to procreate) some women are afraid to express their true feelings about pregnancy. A grown-ass man, however, is going to know that when a woman complains about the not-so-fun parts of pregnancy, it's not because she'll hate her baby or end up being a terrible mother. No, its just because peeing every six minutes or feeling constantly nauseous or painful constipation, simply sucks.
They Attend Birthing Classes
Labor and delivery isn't a one-woman sport. Sure, the woman really and truly is doing all the dirty work, so she should be treated and respected accordingly, but she does (and should) have help. Whether it's a partner, a doctor, a doula, a midwife or a loving nurse, a laboring woman isn't the only person who should be working when she brings a baby into the world. Which is why a grown-ass man is going to prepare himself, as best he can, for his role in baby delivering. He'll attend the classes and practice breathing and learn about pressure points that can combat back labor. He won't consider labor and delivery nothing more than his partner's job because, well, unless she's the virgin Mary, she didn't apply for the parenting role solo.
They're Not Afraid To Voice Their Concerns...
Because they're in a partnership, they're not going to be afraid to voice their concerns when it comes to pregnancy, labor and delivery. Just because only one partner is actually pregnant, doesn't mean the other's thoughts, feelings and emotions no longer matter. The ultimate goal is for both partners to feel heard and respected, and for fathers to be equally responsible in parenting all the time but especially during pregnancy. Of course, there are some parts of pregnancy that men simply don't have a say in, but that doesn't mean that a grown-ass man's worries or wishes shouldn't be shared with his partner.
... But They Trust Their Partner's Instincts
And even though they'll feel comfortable voicing their concerns and their thoughts regarding anything pregnancy related, they're also going to understand that when it comes to pregnancy, the one actually experiencing it knows best. His pregnant partner will (and should) listen to her body and trust herself and her instincts, and not be scared, coerced or pressured into doing something she doesn't feel comfortable doing. She will know how her body will labor and deliver best; she will know what her body needs; she will know what her body is trying to tell her with each ache and pain. In the immortal words of Rachel Green, "No uterus, no opinion."
They Respect And Facilitate Their Partner's Wishes/Needs
A grown-ass man is going to do what he can to make his pregnant partner feel as comfortable as possible, especially when it comes time to push. He'll go to bat for her when their birth plan isn't being respected; he'll kick someone out of the room that his pregnant partner no longer feels comfortable around; he'll advocate for her in any way that ends up being necessary.
They Let The Little Things Go
Listen, gentlemen: pregnancy hormones are no joke. They're relentless and they're unforgiving and they'll leave your pregnant partner feeling like anyone other than herself. This means that, yes, she is probably going to snap when she shouldn't, say things she doesn't mean and be more combative than normal. Honestly, let it go. It's a small part of the bigger pregnancy pie, and it's important to keep your eye on the prize which is a healthy baby and healthy mother. A grown-ass man isn't going to take it personal, definitely isn't going to hold it against his hormonal partner, and will realize that science can just be mean.
They Pull Extra Weight Around The House
Healthy, long-lasting relationships are never 50/50. They're more like 70/30, and then they'll switch to 20/80. What a particular individual wants or needs in a relationship will ebb and flow, and the give-and-take will go back and forth, according to what that one person needs at any given time. So, when one partner is pregnant, it's safe to say: that partner needs a little more than usual. That partner will probably be unable to give exactly 50%, and that's okay, because eventually the pendulum will swing in the other direction and she will be there for her partner the way her partner was there for her, when she was growing another human being inside of her. A grown-ass man is going to realize this early on, and will have no problem pulling extra weight around the house or with the kids or with work, because his pregnant partner is pulling extra weight, too.
Yes, They Make Those Late-Night Craving Runs
Seriously you guys, just do it. Yes, your pregnant partner needs the pickles and the ice cream and the rice with ranch dressing or whatever else her pregnancy has left her unapologetically craving. Throw on your sweat pants, curse under your breath and go get her what she needs.