There’s something about pregnant women that makes people, especially men, lose their usually-in-place filters. More often than not, these particular people think it's OK say things to pregnant women that are actually creepy. I'm here, however, to tell you it's not. It's not OK, at all.
I’ve heard some completely wild, inappropriate, and downright creepy things while pregnant, especially from men. My body — and its ability to grow a human, expel a human, and lactate in order to feed a human — is not up for discussion, commentary, or here for your viewing pleasure, gentlemen. It’s never OK to comment on someone’s body or to offer unsolicited pregnancy or parenting advice. It’s certainly not OK to do so when someone is pregnant. My body belongs to me and my plans for pregnancy, child birth, delivery, and parenting are none of your business. Learn some boundaries. (And while we're on the subject, please, please, do not touch my pregnant belly without my permission. Like, ever.)
Here’s some of the things men thought it was OK to say to me, while pregnant that were actually really creepy. Consider this a public service announcement of sorts, because there's simply no reason to ever put a pregnant woman (hell, any woman) in an uncomfortable situation because you're feeling boundary-free and chatty. Just, no.
"Are You Pregnant?"
Ummm, what if I wasn’t? Wouldn't you feel terrible? I know I would feel terrible if I assumed someone was pregnant when they weren't. Plus, it's absolutely not any of your business.
Never, never, never ask a person if they are pregnant, unless they are giving birth, and even then, think long and hard about it first.
"You Don't Look Pregnant"
Huh? It’s almost as if all bodies are different and all pregnant bodies look different and grow at different rates, in different shapes, and hold babies differently. Wait, it’s exactly like that.
Besides, who asked you? Your opinion about how my body looks is unwanted. And, if you were trying to compliment me? Epic fail.
"Pregnant Women Are So Hot"
Ewww, no. The only person I want to hear this from is my partner (and about me). Your pregnancy fetish is personal, and while there’s nothing wrong with liking what you like, I didn’t want to know that about you.
If that was your idea of a pick-up line, you need better material. Next time, try, “Would you like to have coffee with me?”
Please don’t comment about my body. Yuck.
"Are You Planning To Breastfeed?"
I’m not sure. How often do you masturbate? Oh, I'm sorry. Is that question too personal? I thought we were asking deeply personal questions about things that are none of our business. My bad.
“Are You Sure There’s Only One Baby In There?”
The size of my baby bump is not up for discussion. I don’t need another reminder that I am freaking huge. I am short so, you know, there’s nowhere to grow but out.
And yes, I was there during the ultrasound so I'm sure there’s only one baby.
"Are You Planning To Have Your Son Circumcised?"
Why do you want to talk about my baby’s genitals? Creepy.
"Can I Touch You?"
Don’t freaking touch me. Turn around and walk the other way.
Honestly, would you ask a non-pregnant person if you could just randomly touch them? If the answer is, "No," (and, um, it should be) you really shouldn't be asking a pregnant woman if you can touch her, either.
"Are You Planning A Vaginal Birth?"
Why do you want to talk about my genitals? Creepy.
"Someone I Know Died In Childbirth"
Mentioning horrible things that could happen during pregnancy and childbirth should be the number one thing on your list of things never to say to a pregnant person. For the record, I'm emotional and scared already. Bringing up my worst fears is the worst idea ever. Seriously.