Moms are held to high expectations, and probably (at least seemingly) always have been. I'm not just talking the expectations we should be held to, like raising our kids with kindness and discipline. I'm talking about really unreasonable expectations that leave mothers feeling as though they can't be honest about motherhood in general. I've decided breaking the silence is an important step in letting moms live freely. So, when it comes to the things no mom will admit she likes to do after baby's first week home? Yeah, I'm admitting to that sh*t. I'm admitting to it right now.
Life is simply too short to live in denial. Sure, sometimes there are crucial and unmistakeable benefits to denial, which undoubtably has been the savior of life, sanity, and embarrassment for mothers the world over, especially when faced with the judgment of other parents. Still, I'm so sick of this paradigm. Didn't we learn anything from Christina Applegate's tearful revelations to Mila Kunis in Bad Moms? We are all imperfect! We all do something (or crave to do something) that we think no one else does (or wants to do) too! There is absolutely nothing wrong with being honest about the little things we long and love to do within the first week of new baby, so we (read: me) might as well just own up to it, here and now:
Spend Time Alone
This has got to be the number one thing moms won't admit to liking after the baby's first week home. We're supposed to be all over-the-moon and awe-inspired, every single moment of every single day, by this new being. So, admitting you want time alone might make you feel like a failure.
Moms, I'm here to tell you that liking alone time is not only fine, it'll probably keep you sane. You've got at least 18 years with this bundle in your house, so believe me when I say you'll spend plenty of time with them. If you've got a willing babysitter, don't hesitate to snag some quality you-only-time now.
Enjoy A Glass Of Wine
We're new moms, right? We're supposed to be all in love all the time with no selfish thoughts, right? Wrong. A glass of wine hit me in all the feels within that first week of bringing baby home.
Look At Pictures On Your Phone While Nursing
I know it's ridiculous, OK, but I absolutely loved looking at my beautiful baby's pictures while nursing. Yes, even pictures I just snapped literally seconds before. Don't judge.
Take Those Painkillers
Oh, yeah. Sweet relief.
Stare At The Baby Obsessively
OK so may be we do admit to this readily. But the baby's just so cute.
Sleep While The Other Parent Feeds The Baby
There's a lot of judgment around new lactating moms who just want to get some damn sleep. If you're nursing, and you just want to get some freakin' rest while your baby is cluster feeding (as all three of mine did) there is no shame in giving your partner a bottle and letting that precious boob juice seep onto the mattress.
Drive Anywhere Without The Kids
In my case, it was just to the corner gas station. But, wow, how I savored those few minutes alone.
The stitches aside, any time I pooped after that first week felt like an accomplishment of massive proportions.
Have Someone Else Feed You
Was I returning to babyhood myself? Maybe. But I tell you what, when I was learning how to breastfeed and was starving, there was nothing like my own mama spoon-feeding me homemade beef stew or rice pudding. I had no idea how to use my hands for something besides baby-holding while breastfeeding.
Not Having To Ask For Things
As an adult we should be able to ask for the things that we need. I know. I get it. I totally agree with it and teach it to my clients on a regular basis.
However, there is nothing in the world like not having to ask for help. Having someone respond to needs you didn't even realize you had? Yeah, that's the dream. In that way being a new mom is much like, I would imagine, being a new baby.