Nothing tests you more than parenthood, in my opinion. But, since the ability for some women (who either can and/or choose) to become a mom is nothing new and a bazillion past generations have seemed to pull it off, we seldom admit that motherhood can suck. Being a mom to a newborn can be a really weird, really frustrating and really exhausting time, and even though newborns can be wonderful and precious and adorable and all those great things, there are also things about newborns new moms don't want to admit to noticing or thinking or feeling.
There were some thoughts I had about my new baby that horrified me, mostly because I never heard anyone else express them openly and honestly and without apology. I’m hoping now, with more moms like me sharing the less-than-amazing sides of motherhood, parents will feel relieved to know that what they’re thinking and feeling is pretty normal. Of course, that is not to discount the severity of thoughts that have to do with self-harm or anything that would jeopardize the infant’s safety. It is imperative to seek help if those thoughts do consume you.
It may make me feel bad to think of my baby in any way but perfect and adorable, but that doesn’t mean I’m a bad mom. It just means I’m getting to know this new little being and maybe she isn’t making the greatest first impression, with the fussing and the crying and the constantly needing me at all hours of the day and night. When things don’t feel great and you're not thinking the greatest of things, it is ok to say so. I mean, it's perfectly fine to stop perpetuating the myth that motherhood is incomparably wonderful to any other aspect of being a human.
So for everyone who’s maybe thinking these things but not necessarily confessing them, I’ll just come out and say it: you're not alone. Here are 11 things about newborns I, as a new mom, didn’t want to admit to thinking: