10 Things Women Need To Stop Saying About Stay-At-Home Moms
bySabrina Joy Stevens
You know that scene in Mean Girls, when Tina Fey’s character confronts the junior girls over the contents of the Burn Book, and declares that “it looks like there’s been some girl-on-girl crime here?" That’s what plays in my head every time I see other women trash-talking moms who work outside the home, or when I hear or see snide comments and other things women need to stop saying about stay-at-home moms (SAHMs). (I may or may not also see Damian exclaiming “She doesn’t even go here!” whenever folks without kids start talking about what those of us with kids should and shouldn’t do, but I digress.)
Having been a stay-at-home mom and now a (paid)work-at-home mom, I know firsthand that we’re all struggling in multiple ways to make the best of life in a deeply flawed world. We’re all trying to make ends meet, plus figure out all the normal, human, “what’s my purpose, what should I do with myself” stuff, plus navigating systemic oppression based on gender (and race, and class, and sexuality, and ability status, and anything else as it applies). Why are we making life harder on each other (and in turn, ourselves) by making uninformed comments to and about each other and our life circumstances, instead of trying to understand what life is like for folks who aren’t in our shoes?
It's bad enough when men say ignorant things about stay-at-home moms, or when politicians say ridiculous things about SAHMs. We really shouldn't join them in spreading nonsense that just keeps our fellow ladies down. For most of us, by the time we get to the point where folks we know and/or love are deciding to have and raise kids, high school is over. Let’s retire the burn book already, and stop saying the following when talking about stay-at-home moms: