Courtesy of Steph Montgomery

10 Things You Can Only Learn About Your Relationship During Pregnancy Sex

By
Share
Ad failed to load

I didn't have a ton of pregnancy sex during my first two pregnancies. TBH, I thought it was terrible. I felt awkward, ashamed, and unattractive. Thankfully, that was not the case this time around. I did learn a lot about my relationships from the way my partners and I approached and engaged in pregnancy sex. As it turns out, there are things you can only learn about your relationship during pregnancy sex, at least it was true for me.

A little disclaimer: this is meant to be a fun exercise in relationship exploration. No one, pregnant or not, should be forced to do anything with their body that they don't want to. Ever. Also, at this point, I should probably warn my parents to stop reading.

Anyways, what did I learn about my relationships during pregnant sex?

Ad failed to load

First off, I learned is just how important sex was to me and my partner. Is it something you are willing to give up when you feel like crap or are told you have to by your obstetrics provider, or will that be a deal breaker? Also things like: are you creative, adaptable, and (perhaps literally) flexible in the bedroom, but also in your relationship with one another? Do you understand that people change and so do their likes, dislikes, turn-ons, and turn-offs? Is it more important to you to finish what you start or be understanding when things don't go as planned (which are pretty important skills for partners and parents if you think about it)?

Do you care more about your partner's pleasure or your own and what does that mean for your ability to compromise or change you mind. And when it comes to the bedroom (and life in general), are you a better listener or do you prefer to call the shots?

Ad failed to load

Just How Important Is Sex, Anyway?

GIPHY

Sex is important to many relationships, including mine. I learned that not having sex when I was super sick or out on bedrest was a huge deal for my ex — something he wouldn't let me forget and something that became a source of constant conflict.

My current husband, however, showed me that he cared more about me and my wellbeing, than he did about sex.

How Do You Handle Disappointment?

Things don't always go as planned, in the bedroom and in relationships. How you or your partner react if you aren't digging a new position, don't have an orgasm, or are too tired to finish says a lot about how you handle disappointment in your relationship, too.

Are You Ashamed About Bodily Functions?

GIPHY

Are you the type of person who won't poop if your partner is in the house or one who lets farts rip under the covers? If you are the former, pregnancy sex might take some getting used to. You might just find that exploring your pregnant body together, allows you to be more open and unashamed of the way your body works, even when it's super gross. I know I did.

Ad failed to load

Do You Like To Try New Things?

Are you and your partner adventurous risk-takers or comforted by routine and stability?

How Adaptable And Flexible Are You?

GIPHY

Partnerships and parenthood both require a certain amount of flexibility and adaptability. If you can find ways to get it on, despite morning sickness, aches and pains, and dramatic changes in your body and mood, you might just find that you become more adaptable and resilient in other aspects of your life, too.

How Superficial Is Your Relationship?

Are you all about looks and appearances, or who your partner is as a human and vice versa? Will he love loving your body when you've gained 30 (or 50 or 90 pounds) and are leaking breast milk from your hyper-sensitive nipples? Or will he say things to make you feel terrible about how your body changes when growing a freaking human (which is so not OK)?

Ad failed to load

How Do You Respond When Things Get Weird?

GIPHY

What happens in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom, especially when things get weird. How will your partner (and you) react if you start spotting, if the baby kicks him or makes your tummy move like a wave pool or if he gets sprayed in the eye with breast milk? Their reactions just might teach you about how they will handle weird happenings in their life with you outside of the bedroom (or the shower or the kitchen).

Do You Trust Each Other?

Having sex when you feel insecure or unattractive takes a certain amount of trust. When your partner tells you you look like a goddess and makes you feel sexy it can make you trust them more, in all areas of your relationship.

How Creative Are You?

GIPHY

To make pregnancy sex work, you sometimes have to get creative. Your old standbys might no longer work or be logistically possible. Are you willing to try new things and explore different positions, maneuvers, lube, or even entirely different ways of expressing intimacy?

Ad failed to load

How To Communicate Your Needs, Even When They Are Bizarre

Just like food cravings and aversions, your sexual desires during pregnancy can be, well, different. I totally wanted to be touched differently, in different positions, with different intensity. I found that my partner appreciated a direct approach. Who knew? Being able to communicate your needs is key to a healthy relationship. Pregnancy sex helped us learn how.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

15 Baby Names With Unique Nicknames, So Your Family Has Options

I love a good diminutive name, also known as a nickname. I believe I’m partial to them because of my own name, Abigale, but I go by Abi. And since they’re both uniquely spelled, everyone thinks my name is pronounced Ah-bee for some reason — but even …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

The Entire Family Can Enjoy These Movies & Shows Coming To Netflix In June

It's just one of those sad facts of life: every month, shows and movies vanish from Netflix, their varied excitements no longer at your fingertips. But luckily the streaming service is always prepared to fill that content void with lots of new things…
By Megan Walsh

The Reason Why Babies Smile At You Will Seriously Make You Smile

Whether you're currently the recipient of your own baby's sweet smiles or you just seem to be a magnet for baby grins in general, you might find yourself wondering why babies are always smiling at you. Sure, you could be a 'smile whisperer' but scien…
By Kate Miller

8 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say That, Yes, You Are Their Favorite

For a baby to show a preference for a specific person is not only normal, but an essential part of their development. Babies need to form strong attachments to their caregivers for their emotional, social, and physical wellbeing. Usually, but not alw…
By Kimmie Fink

10 Reasons Why I Won't Apologize For Giving My Toddler A Pacifier

My first child had no interest in a pacifier. I tried a couple times to get him to take one, but he always spat them out and gave me an incredulous, judgmental look. But my second? It was love at first suckle. And after a while, the incredulous, judg…
By Jamie Kenney

Being A Dog Parent Prepared Me For Having A Baby, Really

I’ve always wanted kids; I was never as sure about raising a puppy. Then I spent six months living with someone who brought home an eight-week-old golden retriever puppy, and I see no way to make it out of that experience claiming not to love dogs. I…
By Heather Caplan

20 Of The Most Popular Unisex Names Of All Time, That You'll Be Hearing More Of For Sure

You might think of unisex names as a fairly recent trend, but the truth is these versatile monikers have been commonly used throughout history (well, some more commonly than others). That's why the team over at Names.org recently compiled a list of t…
By Jacqueline Burt Cote

How To Have A Date Night With No Babysitter, Because It's Easier Than You Think

After having children, many couples feel that their love lives immediately go out the window, but it's so important to make your romantic life a priority so both you and your partner can be the best versions of yourselves you can be. As we all know, …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

9 Ways Baby No. 3 Made My Family Feel Complete

My husband and I decided to have another baby right after we got married and, well, we had no idea what we were getting into. I got pregnant right away, endured a high-risk pregnancy, and, before I knew it, my third baby had arrived. Together, we emb…
By Steph Montgomery

8 Stereotypes About New Dads That Are *Totally* True

Much like new mothers, new fathers have a lot on their plate. Parenting can be scary and complex, especially at first and regardless of your gender. People want to do right by their kids, after all. And since all new parents are a hot mess, dads are …
By Priscilla Blossom

8 Differences Between Being Pregnant In Your 20s Vs 30s, According To Science

Whether you're planning a pregnancy, or just thinking about your future family, it's typical to think about things like child-spacing, how many kids you want, and when to start trying to conceive. When making your pro/con list, you might also conside…
By Steph Montgomery

16 Moms Share Remedies For Their Most Intense Chocolate Cravings During Pregnancy

For better or worse, pregnancy is usually synonymous with odd cravings. Sure, there are the stereotypical combos like pickles and ice cream that plague gestating women the world over, but there are other mind-boggling combinations, too, including but…
By Candace Ganger

Putting Sunscreen On Your Kid Doesn't Have To Be A Fight — Here's How To Do It

I am almost translucent, so me and sunscreen are basically besties at this point. Even though my children are beautifully deep brown thanks to my husband's genetics, I still slather them like biscuits being buttered because I refuse to take risks wit…
By Cat Bowen

19 Moms Share The Way They Cured Their Pregnancy Comfort Food Cravings

I was obnoxiously sick during the first trimester with, "lucky" for me, both of my pregnancies. For the first three months I lived on saltines, lemonade, and fresh bread. Once I was able to eat, however, all I wanted was savory and sweet comfort food…
By Dina Leygerman

I Used To Judge Formula-Feeding Moms — Until I Became One

The other patrons in the hip Brooklyn restaurant probably couldn’t care less what I was feeding my baby, but I’ll always remember the shame I felt as I quickly mixed up his bottle of formula in front of them. I admitted to my childless friend that I …
By Katherine Martinelli

7 White Lies It’s Necessary To Tell To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

Telling lots of lies typically isn't associated with a healthy, strong, lasting relationship, and that's still certainly true, but not all lies are exactly the same. Though you've probably heard from someone at least once or twice that the lie they t…
By Lauren Schumacker

The Skinny Jeans That Saved Me Postpartum

Accepting my post-pregnancy body is hands-down one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. It’s something that I still work on every single day. During my first pregnancy, I was 20 years old, so I managed to bounce back quickly. In fact, I dropp…
By Allison Cooper

7 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say They Feel Safe

In those first weeks of new motherhood, it can feel like you need an interpreter for your newborn. With their limited means of communication, figuring out what message your baby is trying to get across to you can be a challenge. With time, however, y…
By Kimmie Fink

Here's Why Dogs Are Obsessed With Babies' Poop, According To Science

Most family dogs seem to understand babies, and they're more than happy to make friends with the newest member of the pack. It's adorable... for the most part and until you go to change your little one's diaper. Suddenly, you're wondering why dogs ar…
By Lindsay E. Mack

6 Signs You're Meant To Have A Big Age Gap Between Kids

There's a five year age difference between my two children, to the day. Their age gap wasn't planned but, for a variety of reasons, works well for our family. And since I was so focused on having a second baby, I totally overlooked the signs that wou…
By Candace Ganger

My Dog Knew I Was Pregnant Before My Family Did

Growing up, I was 100 percent sure I'd be a mom one day. To a dog, that is. My baby plans came later. And once my husband and I were sure we wanted both a dog and a baby, we'd add to our joint dog-and-baby name list over Sunday brunch or on date nigh…
By Melissa Mills
)}