If you’ve ever been subjected to the hell that is bed rest during pregnancy, you probably have a pretty accurate depiction of what it feels like to be clinically insane. Sure, maybe for five seconds you thought, “Hey, this will be fun! Netflix and pizza all day errrday!” However, if you’re like most women that have experienced the mental torture that accompanies bed rest, you quickly and regretfully realize that your time just consists of things you do when bed rest starts to make you kind of crazy; things that will (hopefully) save your sanity; things that make bed rest far from a bed of roses.
When your doctor recommends bed rest, chances are there is a serious complication with your pregnancy. That alone is incredibly terrifying. Once you wrap your mind around the fact that your pregnancy isn't going according to "plan," you realize you're also being told that you literally cannot even venture to the bathroom long enough to get your business done, which is nothing if not inconvenient. The worst part? Spending too much time alone with your wandering thoughts will make you seriously question the status of your mental state. Pregnancy can be daunting for any woman, but it's especially difficult for someone with a high risk pregnancy who has been placed on bedrest and forced to contemplate the "what ifs." Boredom is going to eventually overtake one's sanity and drive them straight to crazy town, so the majority of one's time spent on bed rest is combating boredom and the random thoughts that come along with it.
So, with that in mind, here are some of the strangest (or not to strange, depending on how you look at it) things women do when they're on best rest. The devil you know beats the devil you don't, so anything to push those weird thoughts aside is considered a win. yes, even the strange things.
Binge Watch Netflix
Okay, so maybe this isn’t strange at first, but after finishing every season of Breaking Bad and Scandal, the searches can get a little weird sometimes. Under normal circumstances, documentaries about war and processed foods would be of little interest to you (maybe), but now you literally cannot peel your eyes away long enough to throw away that processed microwavable meal you were previously enjoying.
Read The Baby Books. Again.
You’ve probably already logged some hours with your nose buried within the pages of all the baby books, but have you checked to see what kind of fruit your baby is today? Have you written, rewritten, thrown away, and starting writing your birth plan yet? You’ve got plenty of time on your hands, so you might as well fine tune your plan to perfectly execute the delivery of your offspring.
Check The Mommy Message Boards
If left alone with your thoughts long enough, paranoia will inevitably set in. You might seek out your trusty friend, Google, to search for message boards filled with other women suffering from the same mind-numbing boredom and anxiety as you. There you will discover that not only are you not alone, but you are also probably not the craziest person in the room.
Shop Online For Things That You Definitely Don't Need
Too much time spent staring at the same four walls while on bed rest can cause even the most content inhabitant to question their home décor. These days it’s so easy to just hop online and completely redesign a room without ever lifting more than an index finger. Do you need those new curtain panels? What about that ceramic elephant-shaped candle holder? Maybe not, but (for now) filling your house with the beautiful and budget-friendly duds on via the internet is strangely thrilling and oh-so satisfying.
Collect Take Out Menus And Make Friends With Delivery Drivers
The guy that delivers your sweet and sour chicken every day at noon might become your rock at some point during your bed rest. Don't fight it. Make friends and cross your fingers for discounts.
Search The Internet For Various Ailments
Exactly how long is it okay to lay in bed before you are at risk for bed sores? If you were to give birth right this second, what sort of complications might arise? Is Malaria prevalent in your region? You get the picture. I recommend staying off WebMD, unless you want to have nightmares about MRSA and Ebola.
Feel Sorry For Yourself And Your Unborn Child
It's your pitty party, you can cry if you want to.
Reach Out To Friends And Family
Spending too much time alone will turn even the most mellow of future mothers into an irrational psychopath. So you call up your friends and family to catch up on what life is like beyond your bedroom. You then convince them that you’re fine; that everything is great and you’re really enjoying catching up on your sleep while you still can; you reassure everyone that there is absolutely no need for them to go out of their way to cook, clean, or run errands for you. Basically, you lie so that no one will see you in your fragile, un-showered state of existence because being subjected to that type of judgment is just not even an option.
Question Relationships With Said Friends And Family
Remember those lies you told about not needing help or wanting company? Well, those backfired quickly when you realized you do in fact need all the help you can get, and you’re actually in desperate need of anything that even somewhat resembles social interaction.
You count weeks, days, hours, minutes, kicks, commercials, sheep; you’ve suddenly become Rain Man and now obsessively count everything.
Though it may seem like an eternity, bed rest does, in fact, end. Soon, all that obsessive compulsive counting will turn into counting contractions, and from counting contractions you'll soon be counting fingers and toes. Before you know it, you’re begging time to please slow down so you can revel in the little moments that you could never possibly count enough of.