Life
Life moves in cycles, or so they say. Whoever "they" are, they're definitely right if they're talking about parenthood as a moment of coming what one would consider "full circle." You end up revisiting a lot of your own childhood when you raise kids, and there are definitely times when living with a kid is like living with your parents.
When I was younger, I couldn't wait to grow up. When you're constantly being bossed around by parents and teachers, it's easy to longingly wish for a day when you can just do whatever you want. However, adulthood isn't at all like I imagined. Turns out, eating cupcakes for breakfast makes you feel sick for a big chunk of the day, and if you never go to bed you'll still fall asleep anyway, just at some really inconvenient time like your first important work meeting of the day. Even if there are no parents telling you what to do, you still have all sorts of consequences to deal with. Ugh. If you have kids, then you get another set of people whose agenda basically dictates how you spend all of your time. They're definitely way cuter than your parents were, though, so at least there's that.
Most of the time, I can't decide if it's better to be one of the grown-ups in our house, or if it's better to be one of the kids. On the one hand, when you're a kid you don't have to pay bills or worry about any mistake you make resulting in lifelong damage (or even death) to the people you love most. On the other hand, when you're a grown-up, you can have wine. Either way, there are way more similarities than I ever would have guessed when I was younger, especially at times like the following.
When You’re Trying To Have Sex
Having to keep your saucy messages a secret from prying eyes? Check. Trying to keep it quiet so they can’t hear? Check. Having to quickly throw on some clothes and act normal when you hear them at the door? Check. On the bright side, at least you don’t have to sneak your partner in these days.
When You Have To Stash Your Candy
Sometimes, mom just wants to have a quiet moment to herself with a king-size Reese's (and probably a glass of wine). Sometimes, in other words, mom just doesn't wanna share. If you had to have a secret candy stash as a kid 'cause your parents didn't approve, those skills come in handy when you have kids of your own.
When You Have To Stash Your Alcohol
Sure, you’re allowed to drink now, but if you’ve got a curious toddler or kid with quick hands, leaving your booze somewhere that’s easily visible and reachable can spell disaster. So once again, you’ve got to find a place to keep it out of sight (or at least out of reach).
When You Have An Earlier Bedtime Than All Your Friends...
Or even just having a bedtime at all, really. Once your kids have a bedtime, that means they also have a waking up time, and you're going to have to be alert enough to give them your care and attention when they do. Bye bye, falling asleep whenever you feel like it, hello turning in by 10:30 so you aren't a total zombie in the morning.
...And You Basically Have A Curfew
When you lived with your parents, staying out all night was not an option (for most of us, anyway). So now, while you technically can stay out all night if you want (provided your partner or someone else is there to care for the kids), knowing that your child will be waking up early AF and regardless of how little sleep you got, is pretty solid motivation not to stay out too late.
When You're Not Allowed To Sleep In
Hope you kept your curfew and went to bed on time. There's no "just five more minutes" when it's a wide-awake baby or a toddler clamoring for you to get up and feed them or change them or entertain them. They don't have a snooze button either, a manufacturing defect you'd think the developers would have fixed by now. #RecallToddlers.
When You Can’t Watch The Inappropriate TV Show Or Movie You Want
Trying to re-watch the previous seasons of Game of Thrones before a season premiere? Not if your little one refuses to nap or go to bed. If you're like me, and find yourself mentally bargaining with the Baby Sleep Gods whenever your child fights rest, you'll notice that inner dialogue sounds a lot like trying to get your parents to let you watch that show they thought was trash.
When You Have To Watch Your Mouth
Even if you're like me, and you're not too offended by swear words or worried about your kids cussing like adorable little sailors, you know that other people feel some kinda way about it. Since little kids repeat pretty much everything you say, when they're around you probably make at least some effort to edit out the more colorful stuff, and to avoid telling stories you wouldn't want repeated to you by a teacher calling home. It's middle school all over again.
When You Have To Sneak In And Out Of The House So No One Gets Upset
Knowing how to tiptoe, how to open and close doors without making a sound, figuring out which steps and floorboards are the creakiest; all useful skills for teenagers sneaking in after curfew, and all useful skills for parents sneaking out after nap time or bedtime.
When You Have To Do Chores
When I was a kid, I kinda thought chores were a thing parents made us do because they had the power to make us do stuff. Now I know that that chores are just the price we pay to eat, have clothes that don't smell, and live in a home that isn't crawling with bugs and mold. (I also know that certain small people keep making new messes to contend with.) Oh, well. At least I can make them to share the load.
