Being a mom is hard AF, and co-parenting with my former husband makes it so much harder. It doesn't help that people say and do horrible things to moms who are trying their hardest to do their best, despite a less-than-ideal situation. Divorce is hard no matter how you slice it, so experiencing the cruelest things anyone could do to a mom who's co-parenting is nothing if not completely unnecessary.
I never thought I would get a divorce. I was raised to think that marriage was forever, especially if you have kids. I think I loved my ex-husband once, but I can honestly say I'm not really sure. We were so young when we met, got married too soon, and our marriage was not good at all. I spent more than a decade believing that all of our problems were my fault, even though he was the one who lied, cheated, stole, and abused. When someone tells you you're worthless every day, leaving them is not enough; you also have to try to silence the voice in your head that tells you that they were right.
Once we had kids, I tried desperately to create a happy life for them while my marriage was falling apart, insulating them from the bad things and being the best mother I could be. When I left him, I had to fight to protect myself, but also to keep my kids safe when I could no longer physically place myself between them. Now, years later, I still hear comments and questions from people about me, our divorce, and our co-parenting agreement. It really hurts. Most of the time, I have no idea what to say and no fight left in me, even if I did.
Co-parenting moms are doing the best they can in a situation that's likely largely beyond their control. It's time for people to stop being cruel and try a little empathy for a change.