There are way too many great things about Fall but, if you were to twist my arm, I suppose I could admit that my family’s annual pilgrimage to our local pumpkin patch is my favorite part of this splendid season. In fact, we’ve already gone, even though it’s only been fall for technically four seconds. Of course, my phone was in my hand almost the entire time (although, admittedly, I was too busy taking photos and videos to text anyone). However, had I been thinking a bit more clearly, I may have sent some of those classic texts every mom sends from a pumpkin patch, giving everyone the opportunity to live vicariously through a digital version of our adorable adventure.

Surely, there’s no reason why my friends and family — who were probably going about their days in normal early-fall ways and not stomping through a pumpkin patch — wouldn’t have wanted to be bombarded with a play-by-play, right? Doesn’t everyone care super strongly about pumpkins and gourds and crisp autumn air and how much dirt got on my jeans? Don't they want to share in our slightly early celebration of all things Fall? (On second though, don't answer that.)

OK, OK; I can admit that, perhaps, my enthusiasm for fall and its related field trips is slightly over the top, but don’t most people at least have some affinity for visiting pumpkin patches? I mean, mine can’t be the only feed that’s exploding with posed pumpkin photos. So, with that being enthusiastically said, let’s take a look at what some of those texts from a pumpkin patch actually look like:

The Obvious

Also, that reminds me, I should probably put my kid in these overalls more often. Toddlers in overalls are one of the greatest Autumnal gifts we give ourselves, right up there with babies in costumes.

The Not-So-Obvious

Note to future me: long pants and shoes that aren’t white, no matter the weather. Never forget.

The Valuable Lesson

Thankfully, there’s enough here to distract him that he’s already over it, but still I somehow manage to forget this every year until fall arrives and it’s time to grab one.

The Snapshot In Time, AKA They Grow Up So Fast

This says more about his size than the pumpkins, but still. It’s adorable.

The Confession

Family photos are still tougher than I thought, what with all the other strangers everywhere. Still, we are committed to the cause and will trudge forward with our ill-timed selfies.

The Important Question

Forget embarrassing potty pictures and stories about diaper mishaps. This might be the video I save for some kind of triumphant reveal during his teen years.

The Dream

To be fair, this text could come on any day, at any time. However, it’s ever so slightly more likely to happen during a pumpkin patch visit.

The Valid Ask

I mean, that’s a totally realistic endeavor, right? Do toddlers even like eating pumpkin? Do I even like eating pumpkin?

The “Don’t We All?” Statement

And no, it’s not just because I miss Seattle. It’s because it’s like wearing a blanket, but in a way that’s more fashionable than a Snuggie.

The Admission

We’re tromping around outside, lifting heavy things, and pushing even heavier wheelbarrows over uneven ground. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t be down for this. But today? Yes please.

The Truth

I love it. I can't help it. Same time next week, family?