Before I became a mom, I was fairly confident in my ability to function on little, or even no, sleep. I’d survived four years of college and a dozen or so finals weeks, and I’d been a counselor at two different camps that held staff meetings at night while the kids slept. However, I’d never had a newborn and, as such, had never known what it was like to finally experience that blissful yet ultimately terrifying moment when a baby sleeps through the night for the first time.
Unlike the previous experiences that I had naïvely assumed were adequate prerequisites for the exhaustion that accompanies motherhood, being a tired new parent is an ongoing, seemingly endless undertaking. There is no crashing on the couch after you take your test or at the end of the week, when the campers go home. You are at the whims of a tiny infant, who controls your own rest and well-being and who wields that control by needing you on a consistent, never-ending basis.
For these reasons, and countless more, the first night your baby sleeps through is arguably one of the greatest nights of one’s life. Or at least, the greatest night spent unconscious. Once you get past the initial shock and concern of waking up and realizing you did not get up in the middle of the night, it’s the best feeling ever. There is now a light at the end of the tunnel. You can start catching up on sleep. You can start functioning like a human again. And you can send texts to everyone you know and love, which say things like:
The Leading Question
This can actually be a loaded question from a new parent, however, using all-caps is often (but not always) a hint I personally use when I'm more excited than not, so I imagine the same is true for others, too.
The, "Wait Don't Answer That" Question
I mean, yes, it could. However, now is not the time to think about that. Now is the time for celebrating.
The Ever-So-Slightly Obsessive Reaction
Like an athlete with a lucky pair of socks, that pair of pajamas is never, ever going to see the inside of a washing machine again.
The Expression Of Gratitude
If only you'd known, this is the statement you would have practiced in the bathroom mirror as a kid.
The Pat On The Back
I mean, it's not the furthest thing from the truth. You could have done many things that would have prevented your child from sleeping through the night, so I fully support this moment of self-congratulations.
Let it out. We're all friends here. That extra hour of sleep is a beautiful thing.
The Moment Of Panic
As long as you don't ask this in an online mom group, you'll be fine.
The Pictures Worth A Thousand Words
I understand the temptation to fill the entire screen with tooting horns, but an entire line gets the point across, too.
The Question With The Obvious Answers
To be fair, there are probably lots of ways to answer this. But anyone who doesn't reply with "you" or "your baby," is just not fun.
The Bold Claim
Wait, wait, wait. I advise you to stop while you're ahead.
The Glimmer Of Hope
It is, my friends. It is. Hang in there, it won't be long before you'll have this magical feeling once, or even twice, a week.