11 Things Moms Who Get Married Young Are So Tired Of Hearing

Ad failed to load

At 22 years old, I knew I was going to marry my husband. I'd had an inkling when we first started dating, but about a year in, on a drive from San Diego to Los Angeles, we planned the whole thing out: when we were going to get engaged, married, buy a house, have kids, what the kids' names would be. Everything. One thing I didn't plan on, though? Experiencing all the things women who get married young are so tired of hearing within, like, a month of marriage. I wasn't old, but the damn comments got old real fast.

Declaring oneself a "young bride," I find, has a lot to do with perspective and location. Nationally, the average age of a first-time bride is approximately 27 years old. In Arkansas, however and where the average age is 24.8 (which is exactly how old I was when I got married), I would have fit right in. New York City, where I lived at the time, the average age of a first-time bride is 31. So when I'd go out with the rest of my 20-something friends with a ring on my finger, I was basically treated as a sideshow curiosity as strangers tried to figure out what my deal was, because I couldn't possibly have just wanted to get married so young.

Except, that's pretty much exactly how it went down. There was no social pressure (if anything, the opposite), no extenuating circumstances, no overwhelming legal protection required. We were just a couple of crazy kids in love. Now that we've been married almost 10 years and have two kids, the subject doesn't come up as often as it did back in the day. Still, every now and then I'll come across a few Nosy Nellies who are completely baffled that an unassuming mom would ever have chosen to get married "ahead of schedule."

Ad failed to load



Um. Well, because? I just don't understand why this is something I have to explain (or, in some cases, justify). If you can understand the general reasons people get married (including, but not limited to, love and legal benefits), then this is something you should be able to figure out on your own without making me feel awkward.

"Didn't You Want To Have A Life, Though?"

*pats self vigorously in a panic*

Oh my God, am I dead?! Have I been Sixth Sense'd this whole time? Are you the only person who can see me?

Guys. Marriage isn't the end of your life, social or otherwise. It's not even the end of an social life outside of your partner. I'm married with two children and I still regularly hang out with my friends. The logistics are very simple, honestly. On top of that, I also have a great life with my husband and family. It's a pretty nice life, actually.

"You Must Be Religious..."


Not in the slightest, actually. Appeasing God's alleged desire that everyone be married in order to enjoy sex was nowhere on our collective radar and informed neither our desire nor decision to get hitched.

Ad failed to load

"You Sold Yourself Short By Not Playing The Field"

Ugh. So much to unpack here. This statement assumes so many things that one really shouldn't. For example:

1) That people didn't play the field;

2) That the couple is choosing to be monogamous;

3) That the couple is sexual in the first place;

4) That they should be interested in having multiple sex partners, whether or not they actually are.

If you aren't intimately aware of one's sex life and/or sexual preferences (and you probably aren't if you're saying this), then just keep this to yourself. You do you. We're not judging! Just let us do our own thing.

Your Long-Winded, Condescending Treatise Against Marriage


There are a million and five totally valid reasons a person wouldn't want to get married. I encourage everyone who feels moved by any of them to abstain from marriage all together. My husband and I, however, did not feel moved by any of those arguments. In fact, we were swayed by the million and five totally valid reasons to get married. The fact that I got married young isn't necessarily an indication that all of these pros and cons were not carefully weighed or that I was somehow tricked by the Patriarchy to blindly buy into marriage.

"I Would Never Get Married Until [Insert Random Age Here]"

OK. Cool. Good for you. Do you think this is a really clever sleuth judgment? It' not. It's pretty obviously just plain old judgment.

Ad failed to load

"Why Rush Into This?"


Getting married young doesn't mean you rushed. I know people who married young who dated for years, many of whom dated longer than a lot of couples I know who got married in their 30s or 40s. In fact, I don't think young-bride me rushed by any litmus: my dude and I were together for over three years before we said "I do."

"Did Your Family Pressure You?"

Nope. I was, in fact, able to make this decision freely and on my own. Because I may have been young, but I was still an adult.

Divorce Statistics


Do we all recognize this is obnoxious and rude? Like, if you bought a new car, I wouldn't start ticking off statistics regarding fatal crashes. I'd say "Congratulations! That's a fine new car you have there! May it bring you many years of happiness."

Everyone is aware divorce is a thing. Though, I feel compelled to point out, it's a thing for everyone, including people who get married later in life. There are hundreds of data points that can contribute to one's likelihood of getting divorced. Age at the time of your marriage is but one. Let us worry about that. You just be happy for us.

Ad failed to load

"Were You Pregnant?"/"Did You Have Baby Fever?"

In my personal case, considering I didn't have our first child until we'd been married almost four years: no, no I was neither with child nor with the desire for a child right away.

But you know if I had been I could have had a baby without getting married. (It's true! If you didn't know this your priest lied to you. It happens to the best of us. Curse you, Father Pascrelli!)

Lamentations About Your Own Love Life


I'm not begrudging you your disappoints and fears, but please, please don't use my story as a basis of comparison for how you should feel about yourself. It's so uncomfortable and awkward and it's not even something that makes a hell of a lot of sense since I'm me and you're you and we're just two crazy people out in this crazy world doing out own crazy things. Let's just leave it at that, OK?

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

These Millennial Parents Are Taking Gender-Neutral Parenting To An Entirely New Level

A woman on the subway looks at my bulbous shape and asks, “What are you having?” I take a deep breath and throw a glance to my 5-year-old. “I’m having a baby,” I say to the woman. “No, no” the woman says laughing as she pushes further. “Are you havin…
By Madison Young

I’m Registered At Babies “R” Us, & I'm Freaking The Hell Out

Hi. My name is Abi, and I’m registered at Babies “R” Us — and I’m freaking out. This may sound silly, but after being a die-hard Toys “R” Us kid, I was so excited to register at their baby store once my husband and I finally got our big fat positive …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

My Daughter Is Obsessed With Being "Pretty" & I'm Way Past Terrified

Last week, when I picked up my daughter after school, she immediately wanted to know if I liked her hair. "Is it pretty?" she asked. Her hair was pulled up into two ponytails that were intertwined into thick, long braids. A shimmering pink and purple…
By Dina Leygerman

7 Things No One Tells You About Having A Baby In Your 20s, But I Will

I was 24 when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. The pregnancy was a surprise, since I was on birth control (side note: antibiotics and birth control don't mix), but my partner and I decided to continue with the pregnancy and committed to m…
By Candace Ganger

Women Who Miscarry Early Deserve To Grieve — Here's How Hospitals Should Be Helping

When I lost my baby back in 2013, it was because of a very early miscarriage. Because of the little amount of time I spent being pregnant, it was though my child had never really existed, which made the next few years hard — I felt like they had been…
By Risa Kerslake

7 Things I Wish My Partner Had Said To Me In The First Hour After Giving Birth

I don't know if it was the buzz of the surrounding machines, the non-existent cry of our son as the doctors tried to resuscitate him, or the fact that I'd already been through labor and delivery once before, but I knew something was missing after I h…
By Candace Ganger

Moms’ Groups Weren’t For Me, Sorry

I go to my moms’ club everyday of the week, but not usually on weekends. My moms' group is a place I can always count on finding fellow mothers who understand the daily struggles and triumphs of parenthood and of juggling life’s responsibilities. Dep…
By Samantha Taylor

Millennial Women Are Getting Married Later Than Gen X, & The Reasons Why Are Pretty Badass

The battle of the generations seems to come up when it comes to every lifestyle or career choice people make. Women, especially, are an important demographic when it comes to analysts looking at the lifestyle choices we make or the expected milestone…
By Josie Rhodes Cook

I've Had 3 Miscarriages But *Please* Keep Telling Me About Your Pregnancy

I can feel the tension the moment my friend announces her pregnancy. I can hear the forced nonchalant attitude she's willing herself to exude as she fishes for the ultrasound. I know why I was the last to learn that she was expecting; why she keeps l…
By Danielle Campoamor

7 Early Signs You're Going To Need An Epidural, According To Experts

Even if you've constructed an elaborate birth plan, it's impossible to control every aspect of labor and delivery. Complications can occur, proactive measures might be necessary, and your mind is subject to change when those damn contractions really …
By Candace Ganger

I'm Pregnant & I Refuse To Read Any Parenting Books

I didn't read any parenting books when I was expecting my daughter, and I refuse to read any parenting books as I await my second child now. I'm the first to admit that I don't really know what I'm doing when it comes to raising my daughter. A good d…
By Marie Southard Ospina

7 Reasons Why March Babies Are Total Badasses

From the moment you become pregnant, you begin to wonder what your little one will be like. Will they look like you, your partner, or your Great Aunt Edna? Will they be the quiet, thoughtful type or arrive on this planet raring to go? It's fun to ima…
By Caroline Shannon-Karasik

12 Overnight Face Masks To Use To Wake Up Feeling Pampered AF

Spring is right around the corner, and as far as I'm concerned, the sunshine and warm breezes can't come soon enough. But now that we're about to say goodbye to winter, it's a good time to take stock of your facial skincare routine. You know, in the …
By Katie Malczyk

11 Essential Products To Pack In Your Hospital Bag, According To OB-GYNs

The minute you go into labor (or think you're going into labor), chaos ensues. You and your partner are likely to get a little frantic, just like in the movies, so you most definitely want to have a hospital bag packed before the day comes. This prec…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

7 Photos You *Must* Take In The First 6 Months Of Motherhood

In my experience, becoming a mom is like becoming an amateur photographer. There's just something about the need to capture every single coo and sorta-smile that leaves you obsessed with all things photography. I know I couldn't stop taking selfies w…
By Candace Ganger

Here's How Early An Ultrasound Can Actually Determine Your Baby's Sex

From the moment you see those two lines on a pregnancy test, there are a few markers along the way that stand out as especially exciting. Amongst them are hearing your baby's heartbeat and feeling that first, sweet little kick. And if you are finding…
By Caroline Shannon-Karasik

9 Easy Kid Foods To Turn Green, Just In Time For St. Patrick's Day

The best part about having kids is that you get your own personal crew to celebrate the holidays with, in all your color coordinating and matching glory. And with St. Patrick’s Day right around the corner, you are obviously working on turning everyth…
By Mishal Ali Zafar

Here Are Some Conditions That Might Require You To Be On Bed Rest During Pregnancy

When I worked in an office, I worked with quite a few pregnant ladies all at the same time. Something must have been in the water, because while I was there for three years, two of my coworkers got pregnant twice, and another girl was pregnant with h…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

I Didn't Follow The Pregnancy Diet Rules & My Daughter Turned Out Just Fine

My diet is an ever-changing and wholly personal thing, which is precisely why I refused to follow any pregnancy diet rules when I was expecting my daughter. For years, I've essentially practiced intuitive eating, in that I listen to my body and eat w…
By Marie Southard Ospina

5 Foods You & Your Partner Should Eat If You're Trying To Get Pregnant

When you're trying to conceive (TTC) and it's just not happening, it's easy to feel like you're doing something wrong. It can be soul-crushing to keep seeing negatives when all you really want to do is wave a positive pregnancy test in the air. So wh…
By Kate Miller