The moment I announced my pregnancy via social media, I knew I was going to be on the receiving end of more than a few questions. People would want to know my due date, want to know the sex of my growing fetus, and want to know what my birth plan was. Of course, those questions came second to one resounding inquiry: "When are you and your partner going to get married?" So, as a result, I spent way too much time explaining the reasons why marriage didn't follow my pregnancy, and never will. My partner and I didn't want to get married before I peed on a pregnancy test, didn't want to get married once we found out that test was positive, didn't feel the urge to tie the knot after our son was born, and still don't feel inclined to get married now that our son is a 2-year-old toddler. In other words, marriage just isn't for us.
I can sympathize with those that find this particular life-choice to be bothersome. (Yes, grandma. I hear you and I see you and I know this isn't how they did it "back in your day." I know.) It can be a little jarring to those who think marriage is important, or believe in what the institution stands for, or just see it as one of those "life milestone boxes" you have to check off in order to be considered a successful adult. I'm not one to knock anyone's reason for signing a piece of paper or wearing white in a church. (Plus, I love attending weddings. They're awesome.) However, I would be a kinda nice to, you know, not be constantly questioned about the legitimacy of my romantic relationship just because I don't have a diamond ring on one particular finger. Still, even though it's 2017, there's this lingering idea as to what's the "right way" to build a family, and in that narrow-minded idea marriage usually comes before baby (or at least before the baby is born).
So, perhaps listing the reasons why my partner and I didn't see the reason to rush a marriage or wedding before our son was born — and still don't see it necessary — will help. In the end, what two (or more) people consensually decide to do for themselves within a romantic relationship, is entirely up to them. Love never looks one way. Ever.