We all know that "kids say the darndest things," but why aren't we talking about the many creepy things kids say too? Seriously, the things that come out of some children's mouths is enough to give Eli Roth nightmares. I'm not sure why there isn't an entire chapter in every single baby book dedicated to preparing future mothers and fathers for the awkward moments when their child will inevitably say something out of a horror flick.
Whether your child is convinced they lived a past life as an old, mystical man, or your child sees ghosts and goblins on the regular, there's no denying that children have the ability to see what we can't see, hear what we can't hear, or at least scare the ever-loving bejeezus out of us. Couple their heightened sense of the supernatural, with their inability to comprehend social conduct and etiquette (therefore zero f*cks are given), and you have one creepy little toddler who seems hell-bent on giving Alfred Hitchcock a run for his money.
Here are 12 moms, bravely sharing the creepiest thing their kid has ever said to them. Grab some popcorn, cuddle up next to someone capable of fighting off evil spirits or ghosts or seriously anything at all, and prepare yourself to be spooked. Because the only thing creepier than hearing someone say something very messed up is hearing a really tiny person say it.
"There are ghosts in my room. They say, 'Come stay with me.'" - Age 4
My 3-year-old routinely references what he will do "after he dies and gets born again" or things he did or who he was "the last time he was alive." It never stops being creepy.
"While driving past a cemetery, my 7-year-old son said, 'Mommy why is that little girl sitting all by herself?' I answered, 'What little girl? I dont see anyone there.' My son replied, 'Mommy, she's right there in the dress!'
I looked right where he was pointing and saw no one."
My 3-year-old daughter said, "Mom, Dad's going to die today."
"When [my son] was between 2 and 3, we were at a family dinner and randomly he interrupted and said, 'You know I was older before and my name used to be James , but everybody called me Jimmy and I liked to smoke cigars.' He then went on about his business, eating, while we were all like what in the world? The weirdest part was, we had never been around anyone named Jimmy or James, so I have no idea where he got the interchangeable name idea."
My 2 year old will say "they are coming" sometimes. When I ask who he says, "The Giants" and runs away laughing.
"A week before we were leaving for vacation, my 2-year-old son woke up crying and said, 'Mommy make the plane not dark, I don't want the plane to go dark.'
I almost cancelled our flight."
"I have an imaginary friend named George. He sleeps on the floor by your bed." - Age 3
"[My daughter's] 5-year-old, older sister in response to her repeatedly climbing up on the hearth: 'Maybe we could start a fire and it will BURN her!'"
I was talking to my step-son about sex. [He was about 10 or 11 years old at the time.] I recall saying "We need to talk about sex." He replied, "What do you need to know?"
"[My daughter was around] seven years old. It was the middle of the night, pitch dark and no lights were on inside. [I] woke up to [my daughter] at the foot of [my] bed and asked her what she was doing. [She] replied in a mono tone voice, 'I'm watching you.'"
A few months ago, when I would tuck my two-year-old in for bed, she would point around the room saying "guys." I found out a few weeks later, after incessantly checking on her to make sure there really weren't any "guys" in her room, that she meant the minions from Despicable Me.