Earlier this morning, I checked my email and saw that one of my favorite ring sling companies came out with new colors on their fabrics and rings. My birthday and Christmas are coming up, I thought. I could forward this to my husband. Then I stopped myself. I still wear my toddler once a day or so, but we are definitely pushing the weight limit on our sling. That's how "Stylish linen ring slings" joined the growing list of kinda ridiculous reasons why I want another baby.
I have a few good reasons for wanting to have another baby, like loving children and wanting to share all that love with another baby and wanting to contribute more thoughtful, compassionate people to the world. But I also have a lot more reasons why it makes no sense to have another baby anytime soon. I love damn near everything about my family's life right now. I have a great relationship with my toddler, who can participate in our lives in a way he couldn't when he was a baby, and that's just priceless. He's cuddly and smart and awesome, but also really energy- and attention-intensive. It's hard to imagine how I could possibly care for him and a baby all day, which is a big reason why we don't have one. It's already been a struggle to ease my way back into my professional work, let alone find time for my friends and other interests. (And of course, there's the whole "we live in an expensive area and aren't made out of money" thing. Ugh.)
But OMG, it is so difficult right now. When I'm out and about and babies start flashing their little toothless grins at me, I instantly become a silly, grinning, ovulating mess. I can't even handle it. All of my reasons to not have another baby right now are really serious and important and valid. Still, many of my totally ridiculous reasons to have another baby loom pretty large in my head, to the point where I actually find myself debating how hard it would be, really, because look at the payoff — tiny clothes, toothless grins, and so much more babywearing. Sigh.