12 Ridiculous Reasons Why I Want Another Baby

by Sabrina Joy Stevens

Earlier this morning, I checked my email and saw that one of my favorite ring sling companies came out with new colors on their fabrics and rings. My birthday and Christmas are coming up, I thought. I could forward this to my husband. Then I stopped myself. I still wear my toddler once a day or so, but we are definitely pushing the weight limit on our sling. That's how "Stylish linen ring slings" joined the growing list of kinda ridiculous reasons why I want another baby.

I have a few good reasons for wanting to have another baby, like loving children and wanting to share all that love with another baby and wanting to contribute more thoughtful, compassionate people to the world. But I also have a lot more reasons why it makes no sense to have another baby anytime soon. I love damn near everything about my family's life right now. I have a great relationship with my toddler, who can participate in our lives in a way he couldn't when he was a baby, and that's just priceless. He's cuddly and smart and awesome, but also really energy- and attention-intensive. It's hard to imagine how I could possibly care for him and a baby all day, which is a big reason why we don't have one. It's already been a struggle to ease my way back into my professional work, let alone find time for my friends and other interests. (And of course, there's the whole "we live in an expensive area and aren't made out of money" thing. Ugh.)

But OMG, it is so difficult right now. When I'm out and about and babies start flashing their little toothless grins at me, I instantly become a silly, grinning, ovulating mess. I can't even handle it. All of my reasons to not have another baby right now are really serious and important and valid. Still, many of my totally ridiculous reasons to have another baby loom pretty large in my head, to the point where I actually find myself debating how hard it would be, really, because look at the payoff — tiny clothes, toothless grins, and so much more babywearing. Sigh.

Because I Miss Some Of My Toddler’s Tiny Outfits

Babies outgrow their clothing so quickly. My little guy had some of the cutest stuff, most of which were worn a maximum of three times (if that). I just feel like I need to see some of those tiny duds again. Being pregnant and giving birth again could be hard, but so is not seeing another baby I love wear those tiny little pants with a moose on the caboose. You guys, those were the best and I loved them.

Because I Keep Seeing Amazing Maternity Clothes That Weren't Around When I Was Pregnant

Every time one of my pregnant friends shows up in an adorable outfit from one of my favorite stores that decided to launch a maternity line the literal second we cut my son's umbilical cord, I die a little inside. Outwardly, I'm like, "Yay, you look so adorable!" but inside I'm ovulating and stewing. Ugh you look so much better than I did when I was pregnant it's not fair I hate everything.

Because I Didn't Get To Take Photos Of My Baby In A Pile Of Puppies

When I was pregnant with my son, someone sent me a bunch of photos of a little baby playing in a pile of puppies. Naturally, I decided I needed to do that with my baby when he was big enough. When the time came, however, I only knew a litter of kittens, so I took his photos with them instead. It was crazy adorable, no doubt, but I still want to see my own baby in a pile of puppies. I just have a certain vision for this that I'm pretty set on, you know?

Because Babies Are So Light And Easy To Carry

Every time I hold someone else’s baby, I have to consciously remind myself to give the baby back. And not even because I'm actually in love with the baby (although, yeah, that too), but mostly because as someone who lugs around a toddler on the regular, it's just so nice that they're light and cooperative. New babies feel like adorable little human-shaped dream clouds. Toddlers feel like a sack of squirmy, kick-y bricks.

Because I Still Have Some Tiny Diapers That My Now-Toddler Never Used

They're super cute, too. Someone should use them, and most folks/diaper banks don't want already-opened packs of diapers, so basically I need to conceive like, yesterday.

Because I Want To See If I Could Successfully Swaddle This Time

I couldn't swaddle my nephew, and I couldn't swaddle my son. Could the third time be the charm? I dunno, but I kinda wanna get pregnant and find out.

Because I Want To Know If Second Labors Really Are Shorter

Is this for real, or one of the many parenting fairy tales we're all told so we keep reproducing?

Because I Already Know What Their Name Would Be

Last time I was pregnant, I settled on two names, one for a boy and one for a boy or a girl. Since I ended up having a boy, we decided the other name would be the next kid’s name. So now we have this great name just going to waste.

And what if one of the 80 pregnant moms I know takes it? Then I either have to pick a whole new name if I have another baby, or give Future Baby the same name, and have a mom think I stole the name from her when I actually independently thought of it over two years ago so really she stole it from me even though I've never told anyone about it.

Obviously, the only acceptable solution here is to have another baby ASAP. Otherwise, I stand to ruin a friendship.

Because There Are So Many Wraps And Slings I Want To Buy…

I used to love babywearing because it helped me love on my baby. Now I'd love a baby because I really love babywearing. So many gorgeous wraps I've yet to try.

...And So Many Carries And Finishes I Want To Try

Now that my son likes to walk and run and whatever (seriously, how dare he), I have way fewer opportunities to wear him. That means way fewer opportunities to try and show off all the fancy babywearing carries and finishes I only just started to master as he was deciding he was too grown to be worn around all day. Another totally unfair problem that I'm low-key willing to give birth again in order to solve.

Because I Want To Tandem Baby/Toddler-wear

It's beyond weird to basically ask a friend or neighbor if I can borrow their baby so I can see if I could do it. Nope, can't do that, gotta make my own.

Because Pretty Much Everyone Else I Know Is Pregnant Or Just Had A Baby

It's not considered peer pressure after you've graduated from high school, right? Exactly, not at all. I have a lot of other, totally mature and grown-up reasons for wanting to have another baby, that aren't "everyone else is doing it." My uterus just feels inspired by all these other moms I see, that's all.