12 Things Every Pregnant Woman Thinks When She's Nesting

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For many women, the nesting phase of pregnancy feels magical. It comes a sudden boost of energy and optimism, as well as the insatiable urge to bring order to your life before the baby arrives. Though nesting can be beneficial, it's also a little confusing and the thoughts every woman has when she's nesting range in their severity, from being simply proactive to being somewhat psychotic.

Women do some pretty weird things while nesting, and I found some of my own nesting actions to be both befuddling and hilarious. In my own case, while I was in my nesting phase during my first pregnancy, I wanted to pressure wash our entire house. I did and I loved it. It was addicting, and it made me feel such a sense of accomplishment and enjoyment, which were both very welcome sentiments since I had developed an intense sense of resentment for my pregnant body by the time my third trimester had rolled around.

The third trimester can feel difficult for everyone, but especially for those of us who hated being pregnant. That's why, for me, the nesting phase felt like a breath of fresh air, and I know it gives pregnant women a much needed second wind to help them push through the final weeks before labor and delivery. It's a whirlwind of a time (as is motherhood, in general), and the thoughts that race through a woman's head while nesting can feel as confusing as they are amazing. So, if you're currently nesting or know someone who is, here's an inside look at some of the thoughts that might be occupying the mind:

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"What Is This Magical Energy I'm Suddenly Feeling?"


Wait, I've been so exhausted that even rolling over in bed sounded like a journey I didn't want to take. Suddenly, not only can I roll over, I can actually get out of bed without assistance and put on my own pants and brush my own teeth and, wow, this is awesome. I feel like showing my face in public and brushing my hair and waddling around the park, and I need to know how to bottle up this feeling so I can use it again.

"I Should Bake Cookies"


I'm a horrible cook. I could burn water if given the opportunity, but suddenly I feel like I need to bake star-shaped cookies and decorate them and feed them to the homeless. I feel like maybe I can actually be one of those Pinterest perfect moms and maybe I can cook a full meal without setting off every smoke alarm in the house.

"Our House Is Disgusting And There's No Way I'm Bringing A Baby Into This Mess"


The bathroom floor needs to be scrubbed, the kitchen floor needs to be re-tiled, the bedroom floor needs to be swept and sanitized and our living room is covered in crumbs and dust. What kind of filthy animals live in this pig sty?

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"Seriously, I Might As Well Burn This Place Down. It's The Only Way I'm Going To Kill All Of The Germs."


Yup, basically the only logical thing to do at this point is to just set the house on fire because it's so disgusting. How do we live like this? What is wrong with us?

"I Should Probably Organize The Entire Kitchen Right This Second"


So what if it's in the middle of the night and everyone in the house is sleeping? The functionality of our kitchen is severely lacking and it needs to be fixed, like, right now.

"The Entire House Needs A New Coat Of Paint"


These paint colors just aren't going to work anymore. Even though our entire house already has one cohesive theme, held together by the paint, I still feel like it's a good idea to paint the entire house again because these walls are tan and I want them to be sand colored. Yes, there's a difference. I might not have ever noticed that difference before I started nesting (or ever in my life), but now, I see it and it's annoying me and I just can't sleep at night until this problem is solved.

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"I Love My Swiffer"


God, modern cleaning technology is amazing. Seriously, how did people even survive without these incredible advances?

"Clean Laundry Is Better Than Wine, Right?"


I have hated laundry my entire life, but now the fresh scent of clean linen and the neatly stacked shorts that are occupying my laundry room make me feel so damn good. Why did I hate laundry again? Honestly, folding clothes and sheets that are going to inevitably end up wadded into a smelly ball in the corner of my bedroom eventually anyway seems pointless? Not anymore!

"I Should Have A Yard Sale"


It will be so fun and easy and productive, and I'll make enough money to upgrade my cookware that I never use so that I can bake more star-shaped cookies! (Insert sarcastic eye roll here).

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"I Need To Make Meals For The Next Six Months"


How are we going to survive if our meals aren't prepared for the next six months? Seriously, how? We're going to have a baby that we're never going to be able to take our eyes off of, and I can't focus on two things at once so if I'm watching the lasagna, who is watching the baby?

"Suddenly, Folding Underwear Doesn't Seem Crazy At All"


It's actually oddly satisfying to have a neat and organized underwear drawer. It feels like shopping at Victoria's Secret every time I open the drawer! Yes, it's pointless, but when you're not allowed to drink wine because you're pregnant, you get your kicks where you can.

"I Need To Go To Target, Like, Right Now"


I need to get everything else on my list of things that I need before I bring my baby home right now. I mean, what if my baby decides to show up later today? I can't bring a baby home without having cute crib sheets! Alright fine, truth be told I feel like I need to go to Target all the time, but being pregnant and nesting makes it seem slightly less problematic.

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