Hello! It's me, your vagina. Look, we've been together for a long time now (literally your entire life) and I'm excited that we're going to embark on the adventure of childbirth together. Of course we all know who's going to do the heavy lifting on this one, right? Yeah, you're welcome. As such, I hope you'll indulge me, because there are things your postpartum vagina wants you to know.
Here are three general things to get you started: this whole "pushing out a baby" business isn't going to be some walk in the park. Thankfully, there are people who are very familiar with me whom you can talk to if you're at all worried. Most importantly, please know that I'm going to be OK. We're going to be OK.
I'm not saying there aren't any issues that may arise. I'm not even going to say there aren't long-term risks and consequences I might encounter as a result of childbirth. But I am saying that those are generally rare and the more aware and unembarrassed of me you are throughout this process the better off we'll be to prevent those issues or at least face them should they arise.
Look, I know in some circles I'm a bit of a pariah. People don't always like to talk about me in "polite company." But you should, because I'm polite as can be! And helpful to boot. To wit, here are some things I want you to know that will make your childbirth recovery easier: