When my first marriage ended in divorce, I wasn't exactly sure if I ever wanted to try that whole one-ring-to-rule-them-all deal again. Turns out, when you're heartbroken, you'll think almost anything. Now that I'm in a healthy, happy, loving relationship, I know I'll love being married one day, especially because my boyfriend is my best friend. And it turns out that when there are signs you married your best friend, there are also signs that your marriage is going to last.
A study conducted by the National Bureau of Economic Research in Canada found that out of those who participated in the research, the couples who claimed their spouse was their best friend had the highest levels of happiness. When compared with the rest of the research, it was concluded that the couples married to their best friends actually had twice the amount of well-being benefits as couples who didn't consider their spouse to be their BFF.
I know what you're thinking. You love your spouse, but you aren't sure if they're your best friend. I get it. I have a bestie, too, but when I look at these 13 signs that you're married to your best friend, I can already tell that if my boyfriend ever becomes my husband (hint dropping here), I'll definitely be marrying my BFF.
1. You Share All The Trivial Details Of Your Day
My BFF knows all of the random things about me, like the new nail polish I bought for my pedicure and the funny meme I saw on Facebook that made me laugh until I cried. Sharing those details, no matter how trivial, with your spouse doesn't make you feel silly. You really just enjoy talking to them about your day, your thoughts, and the things that brought you joy, sadness, or even anger. No topic is too small to discuss with your spouse, and they are always happy to listen and share, too.
2. You Don't Think Twice About Joining Each Other On Errands
One thing I majorly love about my partner? He never says no to an outing, even if I'm just running to Target to pick up some towels. If I want my alone time, I go obviously, but some of our best moments have been while we're running random errands. Much like you and your BFF, you and your partner are always down for errands and lunch, even if it's nothing spectacular.
3. You Can Communicate Without Words
Pretty much the basis of a BFF relationship, right? You and your spouse can communicate without saying a word and always know what the other is thinking. The best part is being able to do it without anyone else noticing, so you can have an entire conversation at the Thanksgiving table about how annoying your cousins are.
4. You Aren't Embarrassed Around Each Other
Nothing is off limits and while you may try to keep some things private, like pooping with the door closed, you're not embarrassed if it happens. Just like you don't feel the need to push your BFF away when you're hungover and puking in the toilet, you're OK letting your partner hold back your hair, too. And even more important? Your partner wants to be there for those moments.
5. You Make Every Night Is Date Night
Seriously, the excitement I feel at the end of the night with my boyfriend is still the same way I felt when we first started dating. We can turn anything into a date night. Working together with Netflix on in the background? Still a date. You're eager to make fun plans, but when life happens, you're content and happy to just sit on the couch and watch re-runs of Friends until you fall asleep.
6. You Had An Easy Time Planning The Wedding
You've heard people say that wedding planning was stressful and hard, but with you and your spouse, it went off without a hitch. That's because you two are on the same wavelength and you know what's really important about the day — your marriage and commitment to each other.
7. You Can Decipher Each Other's Feelings
You hear some bad news and you immediately know how your partner is going to react. When you want to tell them something, you can already gauge how they are going to feel about it. BFFs have this connection and not only does it help you two grow and communicate, it also gives you insight into your partner's feelings and emotions so you are better equipped to help them. It also benefits you because you're never afraid to open up to them — you know how they'll feel about it.
8. You Balance Each Other Out In Hard Times
Hard times happen, even in the healthiest, happiest marriages, and the trick to getting through it is to have your spouse as your BFF. Balance is incredibly important during the difficult moments. Both of you can't be falling apart and both of you can't pretend like everything is OK and try to be the hero. By balancing these personalities, and taking turns, you give each other the time to grieve and the time to help so you can get through all of the hard times together.
9. Your Arguments Aren't Hurtful Or Nasty
Everyone argues, even besties. But BFFs don't get hurtful or nasty in their fights. You don't cut your spouse down, you don't have pent-up anger to yell at them, and you don't fight to win. You're arguing because there was a disagreement, that's all.
10. You Don't Keep Secrets
If it pains you to lie to your spouse about watching the last segment of the O.J. Simpson documentary without them, then they are totally your BFF. Even tiny lies feel dishonest and you hate keeping secrets from your spouse, so you are always open and honest with them.
11. You Don't Judge Each Other
Over anything. When you married your BFF, you took on all of the things they brought into the marriage. Whether they failed at it before, had a child, or had financial difficulties, you don't judge. Instead, you remind them that the two of you are in this together and what was once their mess is now your mess, too.
12. Your Spouse Feels Like Home
You know that relaxed, comfortable feeling you have around your BFF? That's how you should feel if your spouse is also your bestie. It doesn't matter where you are, you feel like you're home as long as your spouse is nearby.
13. You Truly Like Being With Each Other
It sounds like a no-brainer, but it's important. Many people love their spouses, but don't truly like being with them day in and day out. If being with your husband or wife fills you with so much joy that you truly look forward to every moment, even a car ride to the grocery store, you've totally married your BFF.