Rise and shine, busy moms of the world! Do you find yourself falling victim to the human tendency of needing energy and nourishment to fuel your busy days of parenting and living your best life? Good news! With limited effort from you, numerous kid-friendly meals can be co-opted and adapted into easy recipes for moms. If only all of parenthood could be this simple! /end joking
Still with me? Great. Let's talk about food, shall we? It's no secret that feeding kids can be a complicated, beastly endeavor. I mean, if it was easy, no one would have to write those cookbooks where you literally hide vegetables in cookies and, like, delicately sprinkle cracked vitamins and gold flakes into cakes (doesn't everyone know that sugar-coated gummy vitamins exist?). Have you ever tried to search for toddler-friendly recipes on Pinterest? It's a never-ending pit of despair, and that's coming from someone who loves Pinterest. You can take a look if you want. I'll wait. Here's something to cheer you up for when you're done.
That said, I consider any day where I have three meals to be a success, and I say this as someone with a partner who helps with the cooking. OK, he does more than help, he pretty much manages the entire kitchen. But no matter how much effort we both put in, our toddler is still is in control when it comes to his own digestive preferences. Which means that the meals I enjoy when on mom-duty can be, uh, inspired by him and his oh-so-refined toddler palate. Allow me to share a sample menu:
Aged Cheddar Cheese Plate
Not aged in a fancy way, but "aged" in that it's been sitting out for an hour.
Seasonal House Salad Of Blueberries And Applesauce, Served With A Cinnamon/Raw Sugar Shell
It's technically a salad if there's more than one kind of fruit product in the same bowl, right?
Cold Freezer Meatballs With Ketchup Aioli And Slobber Drizzle
Yesterday, my son scarfed his meatballs like there was no tomorrow. Today, he tried to share them with the dog. Good thing I got there in time, more for mom!
Farm Fresh Eggs Scrambled To Perfection, Untouched
Aren't toddlers supposed to like eggs? I mean, one look at his toy box and one would assume that rubbery, squishy things are his jam.
Filet Of Chicken Nugget Croquettes And Mandarin Ambrosia Pilaf, With More Of That Ketchup Aioli And Slobber Drizzle
What's nice about nuggets is they don't make as big of a mess when dropped as, say, chili.
Dampened French Fries, Discarded In Delicate Ranch Broth
Why don't more restaurants have "dampened fries" on the menu? Oh, maybe because they don't employ young children to pick up each fry, squish it, and return it to the plate. Pretty sure that's illegal.
Aerated Apple Slices, Powdered With Severed Toast Crumbs
Here's my go-to method of aeration: slice apple, serve to toddler. Watch him eat everything around the apple slices, allowing proper time for the air to permeate through them. Voila!
Ham Sandwich Sans Ham Slice, Freshly-Squeezed Bread
He's like, "Here, Mom, I know how much you like food that I've massaged between my fingers."
Aquatically-Themed Crackers With Essence Of Fromage
I don't know how moms of the past survived without Goldfish crackers. Perhaps a moment of silence is in order.
Hand-Pureed Spaghetti Noodle Bowl, Inverted With A Generous Serving Of Cheese Because We Thought It Would Make Our Customer Happy But It Didn't
The inversion step is necessary, you guys. Otherwise it's just a regular bowl of spaghetti not making a mess anywhere. That's just unacceptable.
Chef's Special: Smeared Ahi Tuna On A Bed Of Pea Pod Nectar
Did I say "Ahi" tuna? I meant "Aha" tuna, as in "Aha, tuna! Something you'll actually eat."
Sun-Dried, Amethyst-Hued Micro Grapes (Unsweetened) Served With Chia-Free, Vanilla Pudding Cup (BPA-Free)
I'm at least thinking about chia seeds though, does that count for anything?
Spoonful Of Clarified Peanut Butter Dusted With Chalk Powder
What good is colored chalk if it doesn't come with us to the lunch table?
Distilled Tap Water Tonic Served In A Tiny Translucent Barrel
Whoa, whoa, let's not get too crazy. What good is hydration if our kids have all the fun?
Organic Macaroni And Cheese With Diced Roma Tomatoes And Cracked Pepper
I'm actually serious about this one, you guys. Now that I have a toddler, the checkout lady doesn't blink at the seven boxes in my cart, but let's be real: They're mostly for me.