17 Moms Reveal The One Funny Thing They Got Away With While Pregnant
Pregnancy is hard work. It might look like all pregnant women do is lie on the couch and binge Game of Thrones, but they also grew their baby's lungs (and also seriously considered naming their child Daenerys, probably). They also suffer multiple maladies and indignities. So it only makes sense that pregnant women are allowed to occasionally take advantage of their "delicate condition." Out of pure curiosity (and perhaps ideas for next time), I asked moms to reveal the one thing they got away with while pregnant.
I had a goddamn miserable pregnancy (have I mentioned my hemorrhoids?), and I worked as a teacher full time until one week before my due date. You're damn right I took full advantage of my situation. I stopped cooking anything that wasn't Hamburger Helper, made my partner scoop the litter box, acted like a total weirdo with my sister, and slept in the staff room during assemblies while my co-workers watched my students. Perhaps the best was the amount of ice cream I consumed, because no one who values their life questions what a pregnant mama chooses to eat. While my husband claims it was the entire third trimester, I will cop to the last two weeks that I demanded he bring me home my daily chocolate milkshake.
Being pregnant can be the pits, so kudos to these ladies for making the most of it!
"Asking my partner to run to the bodega for junk food. Like, a lot. It went beyond the, 'a nice thing you do for your beloved wife from time to time' mentality he had before I was pregnant. He was basically my Ben and Jerry's mule."
"Towards the end of my pregnancy I wore house shoes to work because my feet were so swollen they wouldn't fit in shoes."
"I got away with eating at my desk a lot at work and being late in the mornings."
"Scrubs. I wore scrubs for pants my whole pregnancy."
"I got to skip the longest line for the bathroom at a theme park because I was preggo!'
"I would blank on things I know like the back of my hand while teaching biology and just blamed it on pregnancy brain. I used that excuse a lot. Even through I'm kind of flighty even when I'm not pregnant."
"My 11-year-old son got a jumbo Crunch bar as part of a birthday present. One day when I was really pregnant and really needed some chocolate, he saw me eating it while I was sitting on the couch during nap time. As he told his dad later, 'I couldn't even do anything about it! She was totally pregnant and needed it more than me!'"
"I got away with using any store's employee bathroom while traveling in Europe. It was awesome! Unlike here, you usually have to pay to use public restrooms and little stores and shops don't allow customers to use theirs... so when in Paris for a four-day, I was saved from finding a public bathroom every 20 minutes because of my bump!"
"I didn't do the dishes because I'm short and with my belly, I couldn't reach the faucet. I got back pain every time I tried to do it. I piled the dirty dishes in the sink, which my husband hated. One day, he started to help (it was just help at the first time) rather than arguing. Now he does dishes all the time. He even Googled and purchased a new faucet for himself!"
"I wore to work the same stretchy black pants I slept in the night before on several occasions."
"Gas. I have no words."
"Sitting while teaching. A lot of sitting. With back problems, and the high blood pressure, bed rest in my near future, I sat way more than I ever would have."
"I ate more than three football players. How does anyone get away with eating 20 homemade waffles (five sheets of four waffles) and not gain weight? I didn't gain a pound for 14 weeks. I was actually told to up calories to gain more."
"I didn't mop the floor the whole time I was pregnant. For some reason, sweeping and mopping really bothered my back, so I convinced my husband he had to do it. It stuck, and he still does the mopping."
"With my second pregnancy, I spilled coffee, tea, water (whatever the current beverage of choice was) in my boss' office more times than I care to admit!"
"I used the men's washroom at a gas station near the Grand Canyon because the women's line-up was way too long and there was no way I was going to/could wait."
"I know this sounds super cliché, but I genuinely got out of a speeding ticket. I was going about 45 in a 35 on my way home from school, got pulled over, made sure my belly was pushed out as far as I could get it (I was seven months pregnant, but I wanted to look nine months pregnant), and when the officer approached I told her I was having mild contractions and that I was heading toward the hospital to get it checked out. She let me go on the spot — no warning or anything. It was one of my proudest acting moments."