Parents usually don't mean to add to your pregnancy misery, they just do. For example, when you're hovering over a toilet for the entire first trimester, they're busy enjoying a nice, juicy burger. When you're drowning in third trimester hormones, your partner thinks their so-called "jokes" are hilarious and not, in fact, annoying AF. And because there's a middle ground sandwiched between the two hellish bookends that is the beginning and end of your pregnancy, there are some honestly sh*tty things your partner will do when you're in your second trimester, too. You know, just because.
My second trimester, with both children, was the rising sun after the first trimester storm. It was also a very necessary breath of fresh air before the third trimester reminded me how hard pregnancy could get. Basically, the second trimester was a time I could sort of enjoy the pregnancy and see it for what it really was: my body doing something incredible and not, you know, turning against me. Food didn't make me want to vomit as much as it had before, my energy returned, and I wasn't at the inevitable point in my pregnancy where everything hurt. Some might even say I had that "glow."
Inevitably, though, my partner did some things that disrupted my second trimester joy. He's a pretty easy going guy, passive by nature, and he definitely doesn't let much get to him. Normally I'd say that's nice, or whatever, but when I was pregnant this behavior was annoying. I wanted him to care more about things — like which set of onesies we should buy — because every decision during that highly escalated, hormonal time, was an important one. And couldn't he just let me enjoy the entire pizza without a comment or smirk? Let me live, dude! With that, here are some other things your partner might do at the mid-point of pregnancy that are pretty sh*tty:
They Eat The Last Of Something You Wanted
My partner is notorious for finishing off any and every last thing in our fridge. It's one thing in general, but when I'm pregnant and in my second trimester and I finally have my appetite back? No. No, no, a thousand times no. It should be a general rule of thumb that if there's someone pregnant in the home, always ask before taking that final sleeve of Oreos or risk a meltdown of epic proportions. Seriously.
They Don't Invite You Along To Something Fun
Just because I felt like absolute sh*t for three months, and scoffed at any attempt to get me away from the toilet and/or bed, doesn't mean you can do that forever. The second trimester can be the best part of pregnancy, so if you have plans to meet friends for dinner, or even just to go to the gas station, include your pregnant person (or at least run it by her so she can decide for her damn self).
They Treat You Like A Delicate Flower
Look, I get it. The first trimester made it appear as though I'd be forever broken by the pregnancy. I couldn't stand up without getting dizzy or nauseous. I called out for crackers before I could get out of bed. I was needy and so not the independent woman I claim to be. But the second semester allowed me to feel somewhat human again, so don't you dare treat me like I'll break if you touch me. I demand equality (until the third trimester rolls around and sh*t hits the fan).
They Leave The Baby Planning All To You
I'm pretty sure my partner and I made the choice to do the parenting thing together, so why is it that all the details are left up to me? The first trimester was filled with all the support in the world. Too much, even. But then, as I found a bit of normalcy and settled into my pregnancy, that never-ending support disappeared. I was more than capable, but still — it's pretty sh*tty when your partner peaces out when it comes time to make the important decisions.
They Miss The Ultrasounds
Don't let your partner go to the doctor appointments alone, if at all possible. You never know what will be discovered. During one of my ultrasounds, my doctor told me my baby's heart stopped beating. Hearing that news when I was alone? Yeah, that was devastating. Even if it's not so dire, be there, right by your pregnant partner's side, through every single doctor appointment. The second semester was when I knew if it was a boy or girl, and to go it alone would've made me a little salty.
They Don't Stand Up For You
When I'm in my second trimester but I look like I'm 37 weeks along, and some random stranger says I'm "about to pop," stand up for me. Say something. Don't make me defend myself and my pregnant body all on my own.
In other words, don't be sh*tty and say nothing when someone asks, "Are you carrying twins?"
They Do Nothing
Doesn't matter if it's the first, second, or third trimester — do something. Don't let your pregnant parter go at the whole baby growing thing alone. This is a time for navigating the ways your relationship is changing while still enjoying the parts of life that'll, no doubt, be different when the baby comes. Be supportive and don't even think about a pregnancy joke at my expense. Yes, I'm talking to you, dear.
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