Pregnancy is a nine month struggle with humiliation, discomfort, and salvation of any shred of dignity (which I failed miserably at). Sure, there's some good stuff sandwiched in there, like first flutters, eating more than usual without regret, and having an excuse to rest whenever I felt like it. But for me, there are probably more pregnancy moments I would love to forget (though others likely won't) than reminisce about. Long before pregnancy, I gave into the old adage I'd have a "glow" and would look adorable in literally anything because — hello — I'd have a tiny human in my body! It's adorable, right? I truly believed nothing could ruin something I had yet to experience. After all, everything I heard about pregnancy was based on the darling maternity clothes, couple's maternity pictures, and tiny onesies. Cute.
Fast forward to actually being pregnant.
Is it possible for one to embarrass themselves on a near-constant basis? The answer to that is yes. A thousand times, yes. While I couldn't help all the things my body did to make room, and care, for my baby, it doesn't make it any less horrifying. Actually when I think back, there were some pretty awful moments I'd like to never speak about again. With that, I'm going to tell you all of them (!) because I'm sure someone out there can relate. I hope.