Marrying into a family that doesn't accept you is hard. I know, because I did just that 10 years ago. Even before the wedding, my husband and I experienced numerous issues with what we considered to be inappropriate behavior from my mother-in-law. I can't say I've mastered navigating my relationship with my husband's mother, at all. However, if you've been in a similar place, here are some sample responses you can give your mother-in-law to establish your boundaries in a clear, concise, and unapologetic way.
The "boundary conversation," honestly, has always been a difficult conversation for me to facilitate. I've never felt like it was my place to speak to my mother-in-law. I mean, if it was reversed, I would want to be the one to speak to my own mother if she crossed a line with my husband. However, when you're married to someone as passive as my husband, it's difficult to solve any issues unless you're the one to bring them up. In fact, that passivity often contributes to the cycle of boundary-crossing. Ugh.
Usually, when something is said or done by my mother-in-law, my husband's inability to confront his mother changes the way I view him and our relationship. Because she's never been a fan of mine, I often cry to him and openly wish I was enough for her, too. There's no denying this entire cycle is unhealthy and indicative of how the rest of our marriage will be if something doesn't change. So, with that in mind, here are some sample responses that might help make the boundaries clear between you and your mother-in-law, if not directly between me and mine. Honestly, when in this uncomfortable position, we could use all the help we can get, right?