The day my doctor told me my pregnancy high-risk, I knew my pregnancy, and potentially my life, was going to change in a drastic way. What I once envisioned experiencing for 40 weeks, more or less, was now gone, and instead there was an entirely new list of rules to follow, things to avoid, and red flags to look out for. I was scared, overwhelmed, and I felt alone, so there were more than a few things I wish my partner had said to me when my pregnancy was labeled high-risk. While he couldn't have changed the situation, he definitely could've helped it feel less, well, terrifying.
According to the National Institutes of Health, a high-risk pregnancy is, "one that threatens the health or life of the mother or her fetus. It often requires specialized care from specially trained providers." I was alone in my doctor's office when the term was first explained to me, and when I went home to explain the situation to my partner it was clear that he didn't understand the extent of my condition. But due to previous pregnancy complications, persistent Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) flare-ups, and two miscarriages, the pregnancy wasn't going to be "easy," and the risk of experiencing another pregnancy loss was high.
Maybe my partner was simply overwhelmed by all the news I threw at him, or maybe he simply didn't know how to react in a productive way. Either way, I didn't receive the support I needed, and at a time when everything felt so devastatingly out of control. I didn't expect my partner to have all the answers, to be sure, but I definitely needed him to say at least a few of the following: