Breastfeeding, while a wondrous thing, really puts a woman through the ringer. Breastfeeding can be frustrating, painful, exhausting, and, at times, extremely confusing. Women who are nursing might feel conflicted about the fact that while they're lucky they are able to successfully breastfeed, there are certain aspects of nursing that aren't so great (engorgement, anyone?). There are a lot of totally normal things breastfeeding mothers feel about their bodies so, honestly, there is no reason to feel like a weirdo. You're definitely not alone.
I often felt ungrateful every time I had a negative thing to say about my breastfeeding body, because I knew I was lucky to have come to breastfeeding so easily. My son latched within the first few moments of my offering him my breast in the hospital, and after a few awkward football holds, we were off to the races and stuck together like white on rice well beyond the 16 month mark. Still, there were things about nursing that made me rage against my body. The lopsided breasts, the uncontrollable leakage, constantly having to be beholden to another person who was relying on me as his life source. (You know, like, no big deal.)
It was confusing, to say the least, to have these feelings about my body while it was simultaneously doing this awesome thing (i.e. feeding my baby). Still, it was also doing things I didn't have any control over, and that's not an easy feeling to accept. Of course, now that I'm far away from my days of breastfeeding and my body is back to being my own, there are times that I kind of miss (certain aspects of) nursing. In short, having conflicting feelings is part of the whole package of pregnancy and motherhood and is a completely normal thing.