I had nothing short of a difficult and scary pregnancy. I was "high risk" and experienced a slew of complications and heartbreak, so there were more than a few occasions and/or reasons for my partner and I to argue and take our frustrations out on one another. However, we grew closer and stronger because of that difficult pregnancy. That doesn't mean we didn't have some of the most ridiculous arguments ever when I was pregnant, though, because hormones are real and, well, yeah. I am just going to blame it on the hormones and call it a day.
While our "fights" were few and far between, they were just preposterous and to me — at the time — so very valid and real. If my partner didn't agree with me when I disagreed with a referee during a football game, I took it extremely personally. If my partner didn't think ranch and rice was an acceptable combination and/or its own food group, I thought we were doomed to fail at this whole parenting thing. Every thing, from the small to the large, was a "sign," and sent me down a rabbit hole of emotion. I'm sure it was my own insecurities about motherhood and my ever-present fears manifesting themselves into ridiculous arguments that were nothing if not a waste of time. I'm sure it was my pregnancy hormones taking their relentless toll. I'm definitely sure it was all the changes I was experiencing, and the need to put my anxious energy somewhere (even if "somewhere" ended up being my partner).
Either way, we engaged in a few absurd squabbles in the name of pregnancy and, now that our son is a two-year-old toddler and time has done its dirty work, I can look back at those quarrels fondly. What doesn't kill you makes you laugh, right?
My Partner Wouldn't Cheer On My Favorite Football Team
To my defense, it was the NFC Championship and I take championships of any kind extremely seriously. My team is a win away from the Super Bowl, and my partner (the person I'm going to be raising another human being with) won't support my team? Just because his team isn't in the championship game? Just because he would be a traitor to his team for wearing my team's jersey? I mean, that's just ridiculous.
I asked my partner to wear a Seattle Seahawks jersey during the NFC Championship game (as to not jinx my team) and he refused. The argument that followed has been the single most intense argument my partner and I have ever had. I yelled. I screamed. I cried. I cried some more. Snot ran out of my nose and my eyes swelled up and I thought my team was going to lose because my parter wouldn't wear a jersey.
Then about ten minutes passed and I realized I was being an insane person.
Men Don't Have Uteruses, Too
I became increasingly angry that I had a uterus and my partner didn't. Honestly, it just didn't seem fair. While I love being a woman and wouldn't have it any other way, the universe couldn't have figured out a way to share the procreation responsibilities a little more evenly? I was furious.
My Mother Told Me She Knew What I Was Going Through
OK, now that my son is a two-year-old toddler and time has moved me forward, I can confidently say that my mother did know exactly what I was going through. However, it sure didn't feel like anyone in the history of humanity knew what it felt to be pregnant. I didn't want to hear it. I argued with her for a solid hour about how she couldn't possibly understand what I felt or what I was experiencing. I was a woman unhinged, you guys.
My Partner Said The Dinner I Cooked Didn't Taste Well (It Didn't)
One of the qualities I value most in my partner is his dedication to honesty. I swear, the man can't lie (and when he does, he's horrible at it). So never in the history of our relationship has it bothered me when he told me that one outfit didn't look nice, that fantasy football trade I made was a disaster or my cooking was, you know, less than ideal.
Except, of course, when I was pregnant.
When I totally burnt this one meal I can't even recall (as I have blocked it from my memory, I'm sure of it) and my partner pointed out that I did, in fact, burn this one meal, I was enraged. I was so hurt and upset and just in shock that he would ever tell me that I burnt food. Of course, I couldn't finish eating that meal because it was so disgusting, so he also had a point.
Too Many People Drive Red Cars
Yeah. Sadly I am not joking. We were driving to a doctor's appointment and the traffic was particularly bad and instead of just being upset about the traffic, I was inexplicably upset that there were so many red cards surrounding us. I don't know why.
When my partner asked me why I would care that there are red cars in our vicinity (a reasonable question) I exploded, and asked him why he was never "on my side." The man deserves a medal, you guys. I was the most irrational.
I Put My Keys In The Refrigerator And Blamed My Partner
I don't know why I blamed him, to be honest. I guess it just seemed like the thing to do at the time. I still stand by it.
My Partner Disagreed When I Said 'The Office' Was The Best Television Show Ever Made
Listen to me, and listen to me carefully: The Office is the best television show ever made and I will not engage in another conversation with some ill-advised individual who does not wholeheartedly agree.
Michael Scott is the gift that keeps on giving; Dwight K. Schrute is the coworker we all need; Jim and Pam are #RelationshipGoals; Meredith is probably who I will become when I die and come back reincarnated as a redhead.
Taco Bell Didn't Deliver And My Partner Said That Made Sense, Business Wise
It does not make business sense, OK. Not at all. Not even a little bit. I don't care what their overhead is and I don't care that it doesn't make sense for them financially, they're missing out on a key demographic: pregnant women (and probably college students, but that's neither here nor there).
Taco Bell, take note: you all are fools.