Since we had our first child, my partner’s and my communication skills have been upgraded. We’ve entered a world of code words, silent acknowledgement, and telltale sighing. Unfortunately, neither of us has quite mastered mind reading, so we're still required to ask questions of one another, like, “Have you changed his diaper lately?” and, “What did you guys eat for lunch?” and, "Ugh, isn’t our kid the cutest kid ever?” However, I’ve also noticed there’s a particular batch of questions moms shouldn’t have to ask their parenting partners. These questions, while valid in some contexts, are the kinds of things I’d hope would be communicated with me prior to me having to actually ask.
Again, as it bares repeating for the sake of fairness, my partner is not a mind reader, so exceptions are totally allowed; especially after our kiddo came into our bed at some ridiculous hour in the middle of the night and neither of us got any sleep so we’re not exactly thinking clearly (this happens pretty regularly, actually). On days like that, all bets are off, and I’d like to think I’d be pretty understanding, even if my partner of 12 years had to ask me my name.
That said, in a perfect world and on a perfect day when our child is consistently fed and engaged in the world around him (and when no one is sleep-deprived), these are the questions that shouldn’t come up: