I will be the first person to tell you that my sh*t is not together. I'm a mess. I need lists for everything, I regularly have to rewash laundry that's been sitting in the washer for days, and I'm so far from type A that I might as well be type Z. I'm disorganized and messy, but there are reasons nothaving your sh*t together makes you a better mom, so I won't apologize for being a mess, either.
I tried getting my sh*t together a few times since becoming a mother (and honestly, a few times before) and it's always been a spectacular failure. I get stressed, which means I'm usually not pleasant to be around. Like, at all. My kids bear the brunt of that stress and anxiety and I'm acutely aware that it's not fair to them. If I'm stressing about cleaning the house and keeping their toys organized and labelling the pantry shelves, I spend too much time getting upset about my kids making messes which, you know, is what kids tend to do. I'm not saying every mom who actually does have her sh*t together reacts the way I do, but I know who I am and I know that having my ducks in a row is more hurtful, than helpful.
So after many years of trying and failing, I've decided to embrace my mess and the undeniable fact that I'm a better mom than if I tried to change.