When you're trying to conceive, any holiday can be difficult. For me, personally, Mother's Day was and is the hardest of all. For years, this one day of the year was when I hid from the world. I wasn't interested in pity, platitudes about how "I'd be a mom one day," and really not interested in plastering a smile on my face while all of my friends celebrated their motherhood. There are just so many reasons why Mother's Day is the worst when you're trying to conceive.
I lived in Ireland during most of my partner and I's infertility, where they celebrate Mother's Day on a different day than the United States. Yes, you read that right. I was one of those "lucky" women with two separate Mother's Days to be celebrated, or in my case, to be avoided as much as possible. Now that I am a mother by adoption, I've chosen to celebrate Mother's Day in the United States (instead of celebrating Irish Mother's Day), because this is the place where I actually became a mom. There is slightly less sting on Mother's Day now, too and thanks to my daughter, and I realize that. The blow has softened, so-to-speak. However, I still vividly remember how difficult those days were when I was waiting to be a mom. In fact, I think it's impossible for me to forget how isolating and exhausting and anxiety-inducing it all was. Simply put, the worst.
My biggest coping mechanism I like to share with women who yearn to be moms but aren't yet, is that for those special holidays that hurt the most, protect yourself. Stay off social media if it brings you pain, celebrate your own mom (if you can and/or want to), and work out a way to celebrate yourself as a future mom (or as a pet mom or as a surrogate mom to some special kids in your life). For those of you on the other side, don't forget the women in your life who haven't made the jump yet. Send them a kind text or remind them how important their maternal spirit is in your life.