My daughter just turned 2, and I just now had a conversation with my husband about how to fold her clothes so they fit into her tiny dresser. That's two full years of dressing her where he never noticed that the way he folds her onesies doesn't in any way match up with how they ended up laid out in her drawers. And that tiny, and arguably inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, example is perhaps emblematic of the things every mom wishes dads knew about the emotional labor of motherhood.
I actually didn't realize how much emotional labor I had taken on until our daughter was about 15 months old. I was a stay-at-home mom (and sometimes a foster mom to other babies) for her first 15 months of life, and I took on all the duties related to our daughter while my husband worked as a guidance counselor in a high school down the road. But after 15 months, I went back to work full-time and it hit me like a ton of bricks in the first week I was back: I was carrying almost the entire institutional knowledge of our daughter, from what she wore to what she ate and how many diapers she had left and what she needed the next time she went to see the doctor.
It has taken us the bulk of a year to get to the point where I feel less like I'm drowning under the weight of the emotional labor of motherhood. And yet, just now, I explained to my husband how to fold our daughter's laundry, and while he has zipped off to bed I'm about to change the laundry so it doesn't mildew overnight. There is increased parity, but there are still things I wish he knew about the emotional labor of motherhood, that I am going to go ahead and assume every mother wishes dads just knew: