My partner is a rather private person (borderline paranoid private) and doesn't like to be talked about on the internet. Unfortunately for him, his wife is a writer and, well, she is not a private person. Frankly, I'm fed up with the ways my husband doesn't help me parent at all and the world needs to hear about it.
We both work full-time outside of the house and when we both come home, he refuses to help. He doesn't help in the evenings, he doesn't help on the weekends, he doesn't even help when we go out as a family. I am consistently baffled by these women who gloat when they tell me their husbands help all the time. Where are these men who help? I'd like to find them and talk to them about this hard work they are doing.
My husband doesn't help. He doesn't assist. He doesn't babysit. My husband is a husband to me and a father to our kids. He does what he does because he is part of our family. He is equally responsible for everything that happens in our marriage, in our relationship, and in our household. He is an equal partner in terms of child-rearing. We both raise our children, teach our children, and develop our children. We are both responsible for building a life together and creating a home. We don't help each other, we just do.
He Refuses To Babysit
I mean, this man absolutely refuses to babysit his own children. He just, like, takes care of them as if they are his own. When I run errands he just stays at the house, like some sort of parent, and even feeds them and makes sure they don't kill each other. So when others ask him if he babysits his kids he looks at them like they are speaking to him in some foreign language. What kind of dad babysits his kids?
He Doesn't Help With Dinner
Yeah, so some days I come home from work and this man has or is making dinner. He didn't even ask to help, he just went ahead and started cooking. Other days he'll play the role of sous chef and prep all of the ingredients as I'm focusing on something else. Yes, that is helpful, but he isn't helping, he is doing what he should be doing.
He Never Even Asks If I Need Help
The nerve of this man, I tell ya. He doesn't even bother asking me if I need help ever. I'll be sweeping the floors after dinner and he just gets up and starts putting the dishes in the dishwasher. Or, when I'm bringing groceries in the house, he runs up and grabs them from me without any solicitation. I mean, what if I wanted to carry 50 bags of groceries into the house all on my own? He can be so thoughtless.
He Doesn't Help With The Dishes
It's almost as if he is some sort of superhuman mind reader, but I'll constantly find him washing the dishes and loading and unloading the dishwasher without my request.
He Refuses To Assist With The Laundry
Last weekend I came home to neat piles of dirty laundry on the floor by the washer and dryer. Darks, whites, and kids clothes were all ready for the wash. It's frustrating, really, to have a husband who just does stuff he is supposed to do, just like I do stuff I am supposed to do.
He Won't Even Help With Bedtime
Every night he puts the kids to sleep. Every single night. It started when our firstborn was 2 years old and I started working in the evenings and, well, it just never stopped. So not only does my husband not help me with bedtime, he has taken over completely and shut me out. In the words of Michelle Tanner: "How rude!"
He Refuses To Help When The Kids Are Sick
He doesn't help when the kids are sick because he is their dad and he is as responsible as I am to nurture them back to health. He doesn't help by holding them in his arms and making them lunch. He doesn't help when he gives them medicine and makes sure they are comfortable and hydrated. He's just being a dad.
He Doesn't Help Me By Letting Me Sleep In On The Weekends
I love sleep. I love sleep more than I love almost everything and everyone else. My job requires me to wake up at 5:30 a.m. and I want to die every morning. So when the weekend comes around, I just want to sleep. My husband, however, won't let me sleep in. Surprisingly, I just do. He wakes up and takes both kids downstairs and feeds them breakfast while I sleep. He entertains them while I sleep. He doesn't "let" me sleep, I just do.