I became a mom when I was just 21 years old. There were many concerns my family and friends voiced when I shared the news that I was pregnant and planning on becoming a mother. After all, I was in the middle of college, in the middle of my first internship and making minimum wage during the school year. While those concerns are certainly valid, I quickly discovered that many of those same, valid concerns immediately disappear when you become a young mom in your 20s.
While I didn't necessary plan or set out to be a mom so early on in my life, every day I become more and more thankful that I did. My initial "plan"was to become a mom after I was married, maybe when I was 25 or 26. You know, after college, after I had started my job, after I had a little more "us time" with my partner (and maybe after we had, I don't know, a dog). In other words, the plan was to hit all the points on a "checklist" society claims we should hit, before settling down and popping out a kid.
Yeah, life doesn't necessarily care about that checklist, though. Your plans rarely (if ever) work out exactly the way you envisioned. Honestly, I'm thankful they don't and I'm definitely thankful mine didn't. I think this new plan has worked out even better than my old one. In fact, motherhood is better than I could have ever imagined it to be, and I truly believe it's because I am experiencing it right now. Not only did I have a much easier pregnancy than I initially envisioned, but I get to look forward to a prolonged future with my kid (and my partner) simply because we started our family when we did. So, sure, there are a lot of things to worry about when you're in your 20s, but when you become a mom in your 20s, the following things aren't one of those concerns:
The Ability To Even Have Kids
Of course, plenty of women don't want children, so the ability to procreate isn't of any concern. However, other women do, eventually, want children, and sometimes that life choice can leave you wondering if (or worrying if) you can't have children. When you become a mom in your 20s, you no longer have to worry if you are, in fact, able to have kids because, well, you have one already.
Whether Or Not You'll Be Able To Relate To Your Kid
I mean, I'm convinced technology is going to be pretty unforgiving (it always is) so I'm sure there will be a learning curve and even if I try to keep up, there will be things my kid enjoys that I just don't get. However, I'm still young enough to be "hip with it," and I have a feeling my daughter will appreciate it (or hate it, but whatever, I'm a cool mom.)
Finding Your Purpose In Life
Is motherhood the end-all-be-all of womanhood? Of course not, and just because you have a baby doesn't mean that you have found that one thing that gives your entire life meaning. However, having a child does put so many things into perspective, and definitely can (and usually does) give you a sense of meaning because, well, you're someone's nurturer and provider, now. It's nice to have a sense of purpose, even though it's not your only purpose.
Worrying That You Will Take Things For Granted...
It can be really easy, even when you're a mom, to take certain things for granted. However, children constantly remind you to stop and "smell the roses," to to speak. Time moves so fast and you are constantly being reminded to stop and truly savor the moments you share with your child. Plus, seeing the world through a child's eyes is like seeing the world again, for the first time, and it's difficult to take something for granted when you get just as excited as your kid does (yes, even about a box).
...And That Life Will Pass You By
Having a child isn't the only way to "live your life," but it certainly makes it easy to truly live and appreciate life.
That Life Will Get Mundane Or Boring
When you have a kid, it can be pretty difficult to get bored. I mean, just when you're used to a specific routine, you go through a sleep regression or hit a new milestone or your kid learns something new and, well, everything is instantaneously different. There's never a dull or mundane day, that's for sure. You never really know what to expect, and while that can be annoying (to say the least) it can also make things pretty exciting.
That You'll Never Contribute To Society (Or Life, In General)
Again (and yes, it's worth repeating) procreation isn't the only contribution women can make to society. There are plenty of women who don't want (or can't have) children, who have done absolutely extraordinary things and have made the world a better place. (I mean, hello Oprah.) Furthermore, there are plenty of women who have procreated, and have continued to do extraordinary things on top of becoming a mother. There are plenty of mothers who also work or start businesses or save lives every day as doctors or join the military or, well, you name it.
However, the fear that you haven't done anything worthwhile (or never will) certainly does go away once you have children. I mean, you've created and birthed human life. That's incredible. That human life could go on to do miraculous things, and you will have played a role.
That You'll Never Be Needed (Or Wanted)
Everyone wants (and I'd argue needs) to be needed, whether it's by someone romantically or in the form of friendship or family members or any other connection we can and do make with other human beings. Sometimes, it can be scary, to think that you'll never be wanted or needed by someone else. It's also a pretty normal fear that I think everyone feels a time (or seven) when they're in their 20s and figuring out life.
However, when you're a mom, you're acutely aware of just how wanted and needed you really are. Another human being literally relies on you in every single aspect of the word, and while that can be exhausting, it is also extremely rewarding.
That You'll Never Make A Difference In Someone Else's Life
There are so many ways you can make a difference in the lives around you, and the constant need to make someone's life better than it was when you entered into it shouldn't stop when (or if) you become a mom.
When you are a mom, though, you realize just how important you are and how valued you are and how much of a difference you're making, even if it's just in one person's life. It's a pretty amazing feeling, I'm not going to lie.