Most people decide to be parents after careful thought and consideration. If you have a partner, there's definitely more than a few parenting-related topics to discuss, ideally before a positive pregnancy test and definitely before your baby's born. In fact, there are some questions every couple should answer before having a baby. At least, that is, if couples want to avoid having fights and painstakingly difficult conversations when they're sleep-deprived and holding a crying baby. Honestly, asking these particular questions is the key to ensuring you get the support and partnership you need to get through parenthood with your marriage (and sanity) intact.
I learned from my now ex-husband that you should definitely ask your partner about the big stuff. Things like: What kind of parents do you want to be? (It turns out, I wanted to give gentle parenthood a try and he was OK with spanking.)What values are important to you? (I am a feminist, while he is more traditional). I also should have talked to him about who would do what in terms of baby care, about how having a baby would impact our careers, and what kind of support and recovery time I might need postpartum.
This time around, when my second husband and I started talking about growing our family, I was sure to ask my partner a ton of questions before we even started trying to conceive. I'm here to tell you: asking the following questions made such a difference. I am not saying there haven't been a few silly postpartum fights here and there (You guys, it was totallyhis turn to get up with the baby), but, for the most part, things have been so much easier this time around and because I had the answers I needed.