Life

9 Questions Never To Ask A Woman Who Is Breastfeeding

The women I know care less and less about what people think if they breastfeed in public, and that's stirring up a lot of reactions of all kinds. Some of the videos floating around of social experiments involving breastfeeding in public are downright sickening. I swear, people should be given a list of questions never to ask a breastfeeding woman.

Because guess what? Moms who choose to breastfeed in public aren't doing so to offend anyone. They're not doing it so that people can ogle their boobs or feel uncomfortable. Hell, they're not even thinking about any of you. They're trying to feed their babies, who are f*cking hungry and shouldn't be deprived of a basic human right: being able to eat.

So the next time you're considering going over to a breastfeeding mother and asking if she really needs to expose herself like that, do yourself a favor and really consider the alternatives. Maybe she doesn't have a car. Maybe her baby is just going to freak out if she tries to cover up. Maybe she doesn't want to be surrounded by fecal matter as she tries to get her newborn to latch in a dirty toilet stall.

All humans have rights, especially when it comes to the necessities of life. I'd like to think that a baby's right to eat when hungry supersedes your right to not feel offended. Here are nine questions you should never ask a woman who is breastfeeding:

"Do You Need To Do That Here?"

Uhhh...actually I do. But thanks for checking in!

"Can You Cover Yourself Please? My Kids Are Watching."

How about you tell them to look away? Or, better yet, you EDUCATE them about the fact that women's breasts actually evolved to do this, instead of allowing them to believe boobs are just for plastering all over magazines.

"Why Didn't You Feed Your Baby At Home?"

Maybe I did, and now he's hungry again. Or maybe he wasn't hungry then, but is now.

"Do You Have To Expose Yourself Like That?"

I am showing less boob than a Victoria's Secret model, and you call this "exposed?"

"Can't The Baby Wait?"

You know what? You're right! Your comfort is far more important than feeding my hungry baby.

"Didn't You Just Feed Your Baby?"

Why should it matter to you? It's not like babies have watches with alarms that tell them when they're supposed to be hungry or eat.

"Why Didn't You Bring Your Breastfeeding Cover With You?"

Maybe I A) forgot it, or B) don't own one because I don't feel it's necessary. Either way, it doesn't concern you.

"How Do You Think Other People Feel, With You Flapping Your Breasts Around?"

First of all, there's no flapping going on here. Second of all, I wasn't actually considering your feelings throughout all of this. I was considering my baby's hunger. Silly me.