9 Signs You're A Bonafide "Fort" Mom
Sometimes you're born a "fort" mom, and other times you slowly become one over time. I fall into the latter category, though I never meant to be this type of a mom. After all, being a "fort" mom comes with a very specific list of requirements, like hunkering down for an undetermined amount of time and making the best of any situation with your restless little ones. There are some clear signs you're a bonafide "fort" mom, though, that I wasn't aware I possessed any of them... until recently.
A fort mom is the kind of mom who prefers staying in doors to being outside, dessert to any other meal, Espresso and coffee to tea, and family time over time spent with literally anyone else. Now, it's not like a fort mom is a friendless shut-in, but she has her priorities and makes no apologies when voicing them. To my surprise, I've found the fort life is the best life for me. While I thought motherhood would change me in some magical way, my disdain for actual pants, crowded places, and pushy people has remained... despite having two kids.
And let's face it, I'm well-past my "going out" days. I'm more than happy to stay at home under a fort built by my children, enjoying the wonderful comfort of stretchy pants and discarding things like makeup and social obligations. So with that in mind, here are some signs you might be a "fort" mom, too.
You Don't Leave The House
I leave the house for few things, and a few things only: to get the kids to school, to go the store to buy more coffee syrups, and to evacuate the house if there's a fire. What can I say? I've always been a "homebody" of sorts, and now that I'm a mom you can't pull me away from the comfort my home provides.
Fort moms are the ultimate defenders of "Netflix and chill" because anything else involves getting dressed. No, thanks.
Your Family Is Your Everything
My husband and two kids are my favorite people on earth, and usually the only people I want to spend time with. I honestly can't imagine what life is going to be like when my babies grow up and leave the house. And while I do need a break and to explore the parts of me that aren't "mom" and "wife," I also covet the time I get to spend with my family... especially when we're all settled in for the night, ready to watch a family show or play a board game.
You Always Have A Cup Of Hot *Something* In Your Hand
Everyone in my home knows that before they speak to me they need to make sure I have consumed at least one full cup of coffee. They also know that if they want me to make any important decisions, they'll need to wait for me to have consumed two.
I am always running around the house with a hot cup of coffee in my hands, and every bonafide "fort" mom knows exactly what I am talking about.
You Prefer Watching Movies At Home
Every now and then, I feel like going out into the world to catch a movie in theaters. I guess there's just something about movie theater popcorn and seeing my kids' faces light up at the big screen. Most of the time, however, I'd rather stay at home and watch a movie from the comfort of my couch. When it's movie night at home there are less people, less chaos, and less money spent on ridiculously overpriced foods and drinks.
You Love Sitting Around A Fire
If you're a "fort" mom, chances are you have a fireplace in your home and it's used regularly. There's really nothing like snuggling up to a warm fire with your family (or alone, because that's honestly just as comforting).
You Can Literally Sleep Anywhere
I can fall asleep on the couch, on the floor, sometimes standing up, and inside a homemade fort my children have made. Who needs a fancy bed when the entire house is your bedroom?
You Have Enough Food To Last You 100 Years
You have a Costco membership, you love to buy in bulk, and your pantry is so full you'd survive a zombie apocalypse no problem.
You're Incredibly Creative
You best believe that if my kids are bored, I have a craft ready for them to tackle. I can navigate Pinterest with the best of them, and create truly unique crafts and projects for my kids to help keep them occupied while I enjoy another cup of coffee.
You Don't Recognize Seasons Anymore
Winter, spring, summer, fall? Yeah, they're all the same when you're inside your incredibly comfortable home, wearing pajamas and probably having another latte.
If this sounds like you, welcome to Club Fort.