Having a baby is so great, except for the part where your body is ravaged by pregnancy and childbirth and you're left to clean up the mess on less than four hours of sleep. Not that I'm bitter. There are certain things every mom thinks about her postpartum body that she doesn't necessarily say out loud (probably because she's too exhausted) and they almost always relate to the overarching theme of, "Holy sh*t, what just happened?"
Seriously, how is it remotely possible for a woman's body to change so much and so quickly? I think there's some small part in every new mom's brain that is secretly hoping that once the baby pops out, things will immediately go back to the way they were (a part usually fed by unrealistic expectations of postpartum life via mainstream media, that shows new mothers walking out of hospitals in their size 2 jeans). Of course, we all know this isn't entirely possible, but the change in our bodies happens so quickly that our brains can have a hard time adjusting. Plus, and let's be honest, no one wants to hear how crappy you feel about yourself when there's a new baby and you're supposed to be feeling joyful and grateful and glowing. Between being genuinely shocked and wanting to focus on your kid instead of your figure, a lot of thoughts moms have about their bodies stay hidden, kind of like the depth of their exhaustion.
So, while mom celebrities showcase "perfect bodies" shortly after their babies are born (or the media makes it seem like they do), we're left looking in the mirror, thinking things we probably shouldn't think but are definitely still valid, wondering why our body feels slightly "off." (Or, you know, at least that's what I did.)