I never though that laziness and motherhood would go hand-in-hand. I mean, if I'm being honest, I thought my lazy days were over once my son was born and I was constantly responsible for his well-being. It turns out, thankfully, that laziness can actually benefit mothers in ways that, while probably controversial and open to endless scrutiny, make parenthood easier. Lazy moms usually take care of themselves and don't stress too much about the unavoidable and, well, lazy moms don't worry about certain things when it comes to breastfeeding. I can't tell you how helpful that is because, when it comes to motherhood, very few things can fill you with a relentless amount of anxiety like breastfeeding can.
I wasn't always a self-professed "lazy mom." At first, I thought I had to do it all and do it frequently and never complain and be that "perfect mother" that society, unfortunately, expects new moms to be. Yeah, that didn't last too long, not because I didn't try but because it's freakin' impossible. I didn't do it all by myself, I had help. I didn't worry about how I looked, especially to other parents, because that didn't (in the end, or ever) matter. I especially didn't worry about breastfeeding because, after I realized I was physically able to breastfeed, breastfeeding was just easier than bottle feeding. Sure, I probably could have bypassed some judgment and shame (especially when breastfeeding in public) but moms who use formula are shamed too so, in the end, you can't win either way. At least, when I was breastfeeding, I wasn't spending money on formula and I didn't have to make a bottle and I could just go about my business because, in my case (thankfully), it was easier.
That doesn't mean breastfeeding is easy, because for so many women it isn't. However, when you're a lazy mother who is willing and able to breastfeed, there are certain things you just don't concern yourself with and if you can whittle your new list of worries down to the smallest number possible, you're one happy new mother. Trust me.
What Other People Think...
I mean, honestly, who has the freakin' time? I will proudly say, as a self-professed "lazy mom," that I couldn't care less what someone thinks when it comes to my choice or ability to breastfeed. I know that it's not for everyone and I respect that (whether a mother physically couldn't or didn't want to) but I also will fight and defend my ability and choice to do differently. It seems that of all the choices a mother (especially a new mother) makes, breastfeeding or not seems to be high on the list of potentially "controversial" decisions, and it's just exhausting. I would rather care about my kid's actual eating habits, instead of what someone may or may not think about them.
...Especially When Breastfeeding In Public
I will admit, it's very difficult not to be at least the tiny bit affected by what someone thinks when you're breastfeeding in public. I consider myself to be a very body positive woman who didn't second guess her decision to breastfeed, yet I didn't particularly like breastfeeding in public. I mean, it made me pretty damn uncomfortable to have people raising their eyebrows and pointing and/or even commenting. However, I was too lazy to particularly care. Like, I knew I ran a good risk of being judged, but being judged beat taking the time to pump and prepare a bottle or buy and use a cover (that my kid absolutely hated) or walk to a bathroom.
If They're Leaking
Yeah, I didn't care. I mean, it didn't always feel particularly comfortable because who likes wearing a wet shirt? But, you know, milk happens. Leaking is part of the breastfeeding game, and it's very natural and a sign that my milk was coming in and there was plenty of it and I wasn't going to be upset about having so much milk that it was coming out of my boobs when I didn't particularly want it to, because I was acutely aware that so many women would kill for that problem.
If It Takes A While To Get Used To And/Or Learn
Arguably one of the best parts of being a "lazy mom" is the automatic patience that probably comes along with it. I mean, you're not high-strung and you're not particularly type A, so you're going to be more than OK with taking your time and letting things happen when they happen, mostly because that involves less energy. Being patient comes in handy with parenthood in general, but especially when you're breastfeeding and especially when breastfeeding takes a while to feel "normal" or "natural" or anything other than painful and difficult.
If A Boob Accidentally Falls Out
Eh. Boobs happen. Who cares, right? Not lazy moms, I can tell you that much.
How Expensive Nursing Bras Are...
I couldn't believe how expensive nursing bras were. Seriously, I sat in one particular department store for a solid 45 minutes before I could bring myself to walk anywhere near a cash register. I ended up ditching the nursing bras altogether, because I couldn't justify spending that much money on a small article of clothing that I wouldn't wear when once my breastfeeding experience was over. No freakin' way, my friend.
...Because Who Needs Nursing Bras?
From one lazy girl to another, I'll let you in on a little secret: you don't need nursing bras. Seriously, you don't. A regular bra or a sport's bra or even no bra at all will do just find, depending, and if you wear the right kind of shirt you can just pop a boob out and call it a day. I spent seven months breastfeeding a very hungry baby without a single nursing bra, and it was magic. Easy, painless, lazy-girl magic.
If They Need Help And/Or Assistance...
As a self-professed "lazy mom," I'm all about asking for help. I'm not going to put everything on my figurative shoulders and carry the burden alone, not even (and especially) when it comes to breastfeeding. Just because I'm the only person on my parenting team that can physically breastfeed, doesn't mean I'm the only person that is going to be part of the process. Nope. Not my style.
...Which Means Some Stranger Needs To See And/or Touch A Boob
Because I wasn't afraid to ask for help, plenty of strangers ended up touching my boobs. Honestly, I didn't think anything of it (then or now) because breasts are functional and I wanted help and if it meant my kid was going to get the nutrients he needed, go ahead and give my boobs a squeeze. Whether it was the kind nurse that helped me breastfeed a few minutes after my son was born, or the lactation consultant who followed up a few days later, I didn't mind, because if someone was helping me, I was better for it.
